Most people are wet garbage. Your friends are not.
Think about the last time one of your friends dragged your deadweight, intoxicated body home or texted a bad date on your behalf to tell him or her you'd died camping.
Of all the people who make your life altogether easier, messier and more magical, your best friend is your downest-ass-bitch. Your DOWNEST.
For my best friend Mel's birthday this year, I purchased a gift for both of us. Together, we embarked on an engagement photo shoot through Central Park to celebrate 15 years of blaming our farts on one another in social situations.
This Sunday, as friends from coast to coast celebrate National Friendship Day, show your best friend he or she is the most special dumpling in the whole dang soup with the following enchanting activities. Bible, you'll fall in love all over again.
1. Laugh in the grass.
2. Treat each other to massages.
3. Play "America's Next Top Model," taking turns to do the "WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!" speech.
4. Give your bestie a lakeside piggyback ride.
5. Help each other stretch those hammies.
7. Harness the power of the wind to blow some monster bubbles.
8. Slip into something patriotic.
9. Add an elderly dog to your crew.
10. Play a lil' hide and seek.
11. Surprise her with a beautiful flower and make her cry.
12. Tuck a bud behind her ear to accentuate her natural beauty.
13. Honor John Lennon's memory.
14. Throw some rose petals in the air like you really, really care [about your BFF]!
15. Have the best National Friendship Day in the history of human existence.