Domino's Pizza Tweets Epic Response To Customer Who Burned His Penis While Having Sex With A Pizza

Corporate Twitter accounts normally aren't the most exciting things to follow, but this exchange between Domino's and one of their customers in the United Kingdom might make you reconsider that stance (and hopefully encourage other companies to follow suit).

There's a pretty good chance that this guy's story is fake. The Domino's version of "hot out of the oven" is what most people would consider "lukewarm" and, as a result, there is no way one of their pizzas would ever be delivered hot enough for you to burn your genitals on.

Still, you have to give credit to whoever was behind the keyboard at corporate for remaining so calm in the face of a (presumably) multibillion dollar lawsuit.

Without further ado, allow me to present: "Italian Pie"...

The tweet that started it all

.@Dominos_UK HELLO I'VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS. — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

Domino's has a contingency plan for everything

@NotArsedLike @ITK_AGENT_VIGO Please contact our head office - comments@dominos.co.uk regarding this matter. — Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

Maybe they should have put a warning on the box

.@Dominos_UK DISGUSTING FOB OFF,YOUR STAFF SHOULD INFORM CUSTOMERS ABOUT THE DANGERS OF MAKING LOVE TO YOUR PIZZA. WHY IS THIS NOT IN PLACE? — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

At least they appear to value their customer's feedback

@ITK_AGENT_VIGO Our apologies, we will look for a way to notify customers of this in future. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. — Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

Likely the first time this sentence has ever been typed

.@Dominos_UK I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, NOT HAPPY AT ALL, I HAVE A MULTITUDE OF PEPPERONI PIECES STUCK TO MY BALLS AND MY PENIS IS SCORCHED. — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

Some things should only be discussed in private

@ITK_AGENT_VIGO As you have previously been advised, please email our head office about this — Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

The pizza wants a Round 2

.@Dominos_UK LOOK, I'VE TRIED EMAILING YOUR HEAD OFFICE WITH NO SUCCESS BUT NOW THE PIZZA WANTS TO GIVE ME A BLOW JOB, PLEASE ADVISE. — LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

Domino's isn't mad, just disappointed

@indiantank @ITK_AGENT_VIGO It is definitely recommended, as that is not what is expected of our pizzas. We raised them better than that! — Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

H/T: Gawker, Top Photo Courtesy: Tumblr