If These 'Stoned' Dogs Could Talk, This Is Probably What They'd Say

There are a million different ways to describe what it's like to be high, but my favorite is probably, "It's the closest a human will ever get to knowing what it's like to experience life as a dog."

Dogs are eternally happy creatures whose existence essentially amounts to eating and sitting on the couch for extended periods of time, which is how I'd describe most of the stoners I've encountered in my life.

Dogs do have one major advantage over marijuana enthusiasts, and it's that their inability to talk means they can't go on for 20 minutes about the Marxist subtext of the second season of "Adventure Time."

However, there's nothing I'd like to know more about than the thoughts that would go through the mind of man's best friend after a couple of hits, so I compiled a bunch of pictures of dogs who look incredibly stoned and tried to get inside their heads.

Disclaimer: It is a bad idea to get dogs high. Most dogs don't really need any help being happy.

"You know what I just realized? If you take the space out of 'Cruella de Vil,' her name becomes 'Cruella deVil.' Wild."

"What if being a 'good boy' is meaningless because 'good' is a subjective moral philosophy?"

"I would love to stick my face in front of a running fire hydrant right now. And then pee on it."

"If calcium makes you stronger... then aren't all bones technically Milk-Bones?"

"What if the only reason I chase balls is because my owner cut mine off?"

"I want to lick that more than I want to lick my own butt right now."

"Have you ever thought about how much 'Cheech & Chong' sounds like 'Leash & Dog'?"

"Heheh. Heheheheheh. Heh."

"I just told the doctor I have chronic tail pain and he basically handed me the card."