20 Confessions Every Lazy Girl Knows To Be True

by Mariah Kulak
Comedy Central

I get it: We all have the same 24 hours in the day as Beyoncé, except I'm not Be-freaking-yoncé and I'm lazy.

I'm the college student who naps between (and after) classes, eats microwavable mac and cheese because cooking sounds like way too much effort and will ask you to grab something for me 20 times before I get it myself. But don't get me wrong; I'm still a kickass kind of gal.

A large part of society has already labeled our generation as unproductive, unmotivated, unable to balance priorities, etc.

I'm not here to get involved in this on-going debate, but I want to make something clear to the older generation intent on giving us a bad name in the workplace: I get sh*t done.

There are the days when I'm up before 10 am and make the most of my time and the days I do the same without ever leaving my room. I'm just another Millennial who feels #blessed for her iPhone and laptop.

There's nothing wrong with being lazy. The world wouldn't keep coming up with ways to make life easier for us if there was and Bruno Mars' “Lazy Song” (aka my theme song) wouldn't have almost one billion views on YouTube.

I mean, really. What's better than spending the day lounging around in the comfort of your home, where you don't need to wear pants and can do whatever you want?

My cozy bed says "nothing." So, if you also don't feel like doing anything today and just want to lay in your bed, read these 20 confessions you probably know all too well:

1. I wake up 10 minutes before my class starts because I've mastered the art of getting dressed in five minutes. 2. I never wear make-up because the thought of sitting in front of a mirror “painting” my face for 45 minutes sounds like wasting quality time I could be spending under my covers. 3. I always say, “I'll do this tomorrow,” but deep down I know that “tomorrow” really means at the last possible second. 4. My workout consists of stalking skinny women on Instagram and online shopping. 5. The only thing better than taking off your bra after a productive day is never wearing one on a lazy day. 6. If something is more than an arms length away, I'll contemplate how bad I need it. I usually don't need it that bad. 7. I'll choose sleep over morning sex, any day. Sorry, boyfriend. 8. When people say, “go big or go home,” I tell them I'm going home. 9. I've skipped class or work because it was a beautiful day to stay in bed and scroll down Twitter. 10. I have 75 bottles of water in my room because I'm too lazy to throw them away. 11. It takes 20 minutes to wash my thick hair, nine hours for it to air dry and then another hour to straighten it. Dry shampoo is my best friend. 12. I've considered using Postmates to bring me things I'm not too proud of. Ben and Jerry's was definitely one of them. 13. I'm not hogging the bathroom because I haven't finished, I'm just not ready to get up yet. 14. When delivery is an option, the answer is yes. 15. I can't go out tonight; I forgot I made plans to binge-watch Netflix by myself first. 16. There's no such thing as a 30-minute power nap. It's more like a 100-minute nap where I wake up frantically wondering what year it is. 17. Sloths are my spirit animal. 18. I clap my hands hoping my lights will turn off. It never works. 19. I'm writing this in bed and I'm too lazy to finish the list. I'll just do it tomorrow.