Jesse Morrow

5 Reasons Cheese Melts My Heart More Than My SO Ever Could


National Cheese Lover's Day is a legitimately recognized day.

Valentine's Day is a legitimately recognized day.

Coincidence? I think not.

It only makes sense for cheese appreciation day to fall so close to our significant other appreciation day.

However, for some people, cheese is the significant other, and by "some people" I mean me.

Cheese is honestly one of the best things to ever happen to me.

Growing up, I was a picky, ignorant child.

An ignorant child who did not appreciate or indulge in cheese. I'd order a hamburger cheese-less.

In fact my exact order was, "I'll have a cheeseburger with no cheese."

Why didn't I just say a hamburger? After all, that's the difference between cheese and no cheese.

But instead, I had to take it a step further and rip the cheese of its title.

I look back at the days I was so unappreciative and discriminatory, and wonder why it's been so good to me the past several years.

From spreading flawlessly on crackers, to coming fresh from the farmers market, to squirting into my mouth out of a can when I'm in need, cheese is there for me.

Cheese doesn't judge.

Cheese isn't inflexible.

Cheese is never boring.

Here are five reasons why cheese is my significant other:

1. It is always the same, yet different.

Cheese is cheese and for the most part it has the same texture and sharp taste.

However, it is never boring and unchanging. There is a never-ending list of cheeses that are just waiting to be tried.

Cheddar, pepper jack, American, Swiss, provolone, feta ... you name it, it's there for you.

It rolls with the punches and caters to your ever-changing cravings.

2. It varies in style.

Rather than being the same thing every time you eat it, cheese is flexible.

It covers a wide variety of subject area.

From string cheese, to feta cheese on a salad, to Swiss cheese on a sandwich, it's flexible.

Whatever you're craving it can accommodate. What real-life significant other can do that?

3. It doesn't make you feel guilty.

Food guilt is the worst. Luckily, cheese is there to make you feel all better.

On a New Year's diet? Try a salad topped with some sharp shredded cheddar or blue cheese chunks.

Cheese doesn't blame your new tendencies and habits. Instead, it adjusts to the change and finds a way to continue to be there.

Future boyfriends, take note.

4. It's always there for you.

Cheese never wanders too far away.

Did you run out?

Luckily, it's sold in some form in the market across the street.

Or in string form in the library café.

Or hidden inside crackers in the dining hall.

No matter where you are, it finds a way to be there with you. There's no such thing as long distance.

5. It makes you feel better.

Spending time with cheese makes the heart grow fonder.

Imagine the situation: You had a terrible day of exams and roommate drama.

You have a craving for something familiar and stable.

You go to the refrigerator and grab a variety of cheeses.

You go to the pantry and grab some crackers.

You cut the cheeses into little perfect squares.

You place the cheese on the crackers and instantly all your problems go away.

It sure does know how to leave it all on the table -- no pun intended.

Cheese is everything a real-life significant other is not.

It doesn't flake or wind up absent in the midst of a bad mood or bad situation.

It doesn't judge you for overeating. It doesn't make you feel guilty or bad when you're sticking to new habits.

It doesn't constantly stay same old, same old.

It doesn't let long distance or a low refrigerator stock get in the way.

Cheese is more consistent than any boyfriend I've ever had, and I wish I was kidding.

Celebrate this lovers day accordingly.