These Are The 7 Signs Your Parents Are Probably Still Smoking Weed
Considering most of our parents were in their prime in the 70's and 80's, there's a good chance they were smoking weed -- among many other things. While they might not act like it now, they know exactly what's up and can tell when your ass is high, so don't play dumb with them.
If you've ever wondered why you're such a stoner, just remember loving marijuana is hereditary (not really), so you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Chances are, your parents have smoked it, they're still smoking it, or they just smoked so damn much, they can't smoke no more. Why they still haven't told your ass is completely on you.
If you spark trees every day, your parents probably did too (definitely your dad), but how do you know if they're still lighting up that magic dragon?
These are the eight telltale signs your parents are lighting up when you're not around.
You've caught them in the kitchen at 1 am eating sandwich meat.
If you were ever wondering who was eating all of your cereal and peanut butter out the jar as a child, it wasn't the boogie man, it was definitely your high-as-sh*t parents.
Getting the midnight munchies is natural when you're stoned, but getting to the kitchen and realizing your mom or dad already ate everything is something no child could be prepared for.
Clearing out all the sandwich meat for your school lunch the next day isn't necessarily great parenting, but it will surely teach your ass a lesson you will never forget.
They had a friend who looked like a sketchy poker player.
He definitely wasn't your uncle, would only be over for literally five minutes at a time and looks like Joe Pesci in "Home Alone."
Your dad would probably tell you he's one of his golf buddies, but considering your dad doesn't play golf, something's not adding up.
Your parents would probably disappear afterwards, or tell you to go to bed, which was awkward especially when it wasn't even noon yet.
They were oddly inconsistent with their punishments.
One day, they would ground you for staying out too late. The next night, you'd come home even later and they'd forgotten they even had a son.
If your parents were inconsistent with their punishments, it's probably because their moods were stabilized with some good old-fashioned THC.
The next time you get into any sort of trouble, try handing your mom and dad a joint before you break the news to them.
They tell you when they're going to bed (or when you should go to bed).
Most parents are nocturnal smokers and have to wait until night to transform into their true selves.
Often, they will tell you when they're going to bed, so you don't try to disturb them. They might even tell you to go to sleep so they can take over the living room.
Their suggested Netflix includes "Iron Chef," "Planet Earth" and "How It's Made."
When it comes to your parents' Netflix suggestions, you may see some entertainment that's best enjoyed when elevated.
Pretty much anything with food, nature and animals or how sh*t is made will tell you these are people who love to have their minds blown... and inspired to go get more munchies.
They do awesome sh*t like skydiving and cooking turduckens.
Did you have an awesome childhood? Then chances are, your parents were just high the whole time, trying to do awesome sh*t on their own. You just happened to be present.
If you've ever noticed they're actually cooler than you, there's a great chance they're smoking some good too!
When you see your dad pull up with the top down, bumping some Bob Marley and then cooking some beer fried chicken later on, you know exactly what's up.
Your weed is missing from your room.
Well, Billy, your room is clean; your shirts are folded, and your weed is missing. This could only mean one thing: Your mother found your stash and is sharing that sh*t with your pops!
It's kind of an unwritten rule that if parents find their children's weed, it's automatically theirs. That's just how it goes, young blood.
Don't worry, at least you'll get a bomb dinner out of this.