Last night, I was doing what I do every Wednesday -- looking at pictures of various Kardashians in an attempt to figure out the world's obsession with the family -- when I suddenly noticed something that had somehow escaped me for the previous seven months.
Kylie Jenner has been dogged by rumors from people claiming she'd had surgery to enhance her lips, and while I personally don't care either way (my interest is purely scientific), I couldn't help but notice Kylie has an odd habit of covering up her lips in a number of photos despite proudly showing them off in others.
You could make the argument that she's simply trying to hide her face from the paparazzi, but the theme repeats itself in photos taken by the... model (I'm not really sure what to call her), and my suspicions have been aroused (those are the only things that have been aroused because -- again -- this is purely research).
There's a chance she's just trying to be cute.
But there's also a chance there's something else at play here, and the only way we're going to be able to figure it out is by analyzing the dates each photo was taken and looking for some sort of pattern.
Until that happens, I suggest you examine these photos and try to figure it out for yourself.
Her hands make a pyramid over her left eye in this one. It might be an Illuminati conspiracy.
Maybe the person who she (probably) employs to shoot and edit her Instagram photos has terrible gas and she's trying to be polite.
Those jeans might be closer to the truth than we will ever be.
Is she forcing herself to keep a secret that's trying to be heard? Does she know the truth behind the Kennedy assassination? So. Many. Questions.
Maybe her lips are just cold. It's not a fun explanation, but it's one of the more rational ones.
It could be a reoccurring cold sore, but that's also not really as fun.
Snapple Fact: Every full moon, Kylie Jenner's lips turn into a powerful hand magnet.
A self-portrait... or a picture of the tiny person who lives inside her mouth and occasionally surfaces for air? It's probably the first one, but we can dream.
"Ugh, I can't believe I ran out of lipstick after doing the rest of my makeup... again!"
Perhaps she's stopping herself from satisfying the constant urge she has to eat her hair. Apologies in advance if that's the real reason because I know that's a legitimate disease.
So close! It's like she's teasing me.
The truth will be revealed one day. I just hope that day comes before I die.