Subway's Chicken Only Contains 53 Percent Chicken DNA So Skip That Footlong

by Tim McGovern

Well, it looks like you might not be eating so fresh after all.

According to a new study revealed by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation and conducted by Trent University's Wildlife Forensic DNA Laboratory's researcher Matt Harnden, Subway's chicken only contains 53.6 percent chicken.

Someone tell Michael Phelps to stop deep-throating that sub!

To me, the 47 percent of Subway's chicken that isn't chicken is far worse than Mitt Romney's 47 percent comment.

To put things in perspective, a chicken bought at the store should contain 100 percent chicken DNA.

To think I had just gotten over the fact my Subway sandwich was probably one of these yoga mats lathered up in Sweet Onion Sauce:

Although, I did feel like I could say I did yoga every time I ate at Subway.

While McDonald's Country Chicken turned out to be 84.9 percent chicken DNA, and Wendy's Grilled Chicken Sandwich was comprised of roughly 88.5 percent chicken DNA, Subway's chicken averaged a score of 53.6 percent chicken DNA.

On top of that, Subway's chicken strips averaged out to be 42.8 percent chicken DNA.

This leads me to the question: What the hell is the other 50 percent?!

Thankfully, it's not like the remaining half of the DNA found was rat meat or human flesh or dandruff dust. (For instance, I'm 50 percent human flesh DNA and 50 percent dandruff dust DNA. FYI.)

Nope, it was soy. While a statement from Subway says the restaurant chain only includes 1 percent soy protein in their ingredients, these results do seem to run extremely contrary to that.

Before you start gorging yourself of McDonald's Country Chicken, know fast-food chicken also has upwards of seven to 10 times the amount of sodium than regular, store-bought chicken.

Subway went on to say,

We will look into this again with our supplier to ensure that the chicken is meeting the high standard we set for all of our menu items and ingredients.

Yeah, you effing better.

Citations: What's in your chicken sandwich? DNA test shows Subway sandwiches could contain just 50% chicken (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation)