These 10 Unexpected Activities Are Exponentially Better After Smoking Weed
We all know that weed can improve watching a really bad movie or eating subpar snacks.
What about those boring, mundane tasks you've never really considered doing while high? What other activities would be vastly improved if you were a little lit while doing them?
Here are 10 common experiences you should try out in the very near future.
Go to the pet store
You don't need to spend the money on going to an aquarium or amusement park.
You can find just as much entertainment for free at a local pet store. The animals will love the attention. You'll love interacting with these animals more than just about anything you've ever experienced. You can also go to the local animal shelter. Just make sure it's a no-kill shelter.
A doggie Death Row would be a downer that you might not ever shake, and you'll end up adopting 36 new dogs.
Ride in a paddleboat
Riding in a paddleboat is not that fun.
You're just wearing out your legs on a big water bike and lying in other people's sweat.
That is, unless you do it high!
Then it's an entire adventure on the open water that'll make you want to spend the entire afternoon on the lake instead of begging to get back on land after 15 minutes.
Clean your house
Now, only attempt this if you have plenty of time to do your chores.
It will almost definitely take way longer than a typical afternoon of cleaning. Pop in your headphones. Find a good playlist. Get ready to enjoy mopping more than you've ever enjoyed it in your life.
It won't be the best cleaning. It will be the most enjoyable.
Attend a wedding
Most of us dread having to sit through a wedding ceremony.
If you get a little high before it starts, you'll find little gems of enjoyment you would have never even considered if you were drab and straight. It is important to note that, if you're actually IN the wedding ceremony, this is an absolutely terrible idea. Do not attempt unless the bride and groom and totally cool with it.
Now, if you're the bride or groom, and you want to get high before a wedding, then you're the coolest ever.
That's a wedding I would love an invitation to as soon as possible.
Anywhere you have to sit and wait
Are you waiting for your friend to get their oil changed at Jiffy Lube or to renew their driver's license at the DMV?
Sounds like an absolutely boring time that no one is going to enjoy. Well, no one that's not high, that is. You can't ask for much better people watching than at the DMV.
Just be aware that you will most definitely end up making direct eye contact with a stranger multiple times.
Talk on the phone to kids
You know how your sister puts your niece and nephew on the phone all the time, and you have no idea what to talk about?
Not anymore! If you get high before the call, that kid is going to love you more than anyone else they've ever talked to.
You'll get into in-depth conversations about Patricks' motives on a recent episode of "Spongebob" while doing a duet of the theme song to "Dog with a Blog."
Congratulations on becoming their new favorite aunt or uncle.
Go trick or treating
Yes, you're an adult. Imagine how fun it would be to dress up as "Shrek" and wander from house to house in your neighborhood asking them to give you candy?
You'll probably get a few dirty looks. Just disguise your voice.
They'll never figure out you were the creepy 30-year-old dude wandering around asking for peanut M&Ms in a homemade Darth Maul costume.
Take a tour (specifically the TMZ Tour in Los Angeles)
If you live in a big city, you've seen those awful tour vans go by, full of tourists hoping to grab a picture of a famous landmark or celebrity sighting.
Obviously, as a local, this is of no interest to you. Have you ever considered doing it while you're high? The best part is that they'll think you're a tourist. Even if you're so high you forget to speak English, you'll still fit in just fine.
It's honestly the only way to do tours.
Go on a tinder date
Most people have a pretty good idea of how a Tinder date will end before they even leave the house.
Why not add a little adventure to it by getting super high before the date? You'll be chill and relaxed and enjoy the conversation about “living life to the fullest and always being up for an adventure” way more than you would sober.
Worst case scenario: The other person finds you obnoxious, and you un-match. Oh well.
Good thing there are thousands of other people to swipe through and try it again.
Visit a nursing home
You need to go visit your great aunt anyway. Get yourself nice and high.
Take an Uber over to her nursing home, and the two of you have an absolute ball together. Not to be rude, but she's going to say things that don't make sense and probably won't remember most things you say.
It doesn't matter if you ramble or speak incoherently. By the end of the day, you might have made a whole slew of friends and brightened up a bunch of lonely old people's day.
This post was originally written by Rob Fee for The Kind.
Citations: 10 Unexpected Activities That Are Better When You're High (The Kind)