Here Are The 8 Different Types of Marijuana Smokers You'll Meet On 420
How do you plan on celebrating 420 this year?
Most stoners band together with other fellow marijuana lovers to create the ultimate smoke session right at home. Whether you're the one hosting or the one attending, there are always a few different types of stoners that can be found in your environment.
From the person who still doesn't know how to inhale correctly after all of these years, to the marijuana know-it-all who shamelessly takes credit for one of Mother Nature's most precious offerings, here are the eight different types of marijuana smokers you'll meet on 420!
With every 420 celebration comes a a stoner rookie. This person has never rolled a joint, a blunt, or packed a bowl -- not even once. Hell, these newbies have never even purchased their own weed before!
Despite the fact the First-Timer may be the least respected stoner within marijuana culture as we know it, it's important to remember we were all once first-timers when experimenting with marijuana.
The First-Timer may have a ton of questions and very little knowledge on how to appropriately rip a bong, but, hey, teaching him or her is just an opportunity for you to brush up on your own stoner skills.
So, remember, look out for first-timers and make them feel comfortable. Unless he or she accidentally exhales while ripping the bong, forcing the cherry and ash to fall on the floor and burn a hole through your carpet! Then, this person has to go.
The Seasoned Veteran
The Seasoned Veteran is a well-experienced stoner who thinks more of him or herself as a marijuana connoisseur than anything else. This marijuana-smoking, bong-toting stoner can roll anything -- cross joints, dutch tulips, you name it.
The Seasoned Veteran also possesses an impressive collection of glassware as well as a wide variety of obscure marijuana products and accessories. From classic stoner movies to an obscure collection of the most tripped-out GIFs to stare at while you're high, this stoner has it all.
To ensure a thorough and authentic 4/20 celebration, make sure you have one of these well-respected frontline blazers in your crew.
The Bad Tripper
You're smoking. Everything's going great, until you're suddenly swearing profusely and you become more and more paranoid by the second. Your heart is racing. You're not sure if you're on weed or acid. We've all been there.
And at a 420 smoke session, you never know who's going to experience a "bad trip." It's quite uncommon for seasoned smokers to experience one after years of loyal cannabis consumption; however, these stressful episodes can happen to anyone.
Keep a Seth Rogen movie and a fresh stock of ice cold waters on hand for when the mood gets dark. You can thank me later.
The Stingy Stoner
If there's ever a time to be generous with your weed, it's probably on the only marijuana holiday of the year. That's why The Stingy Stoner is incredibly easy to spot. This person is typically seen shielding his or her weed from undeserving eyes.
The Stingy Stoner doesn't share and acts as if 420 is a BYOW (bring your own weed) situation when, in reality, it's a day of giving, just like Christmas. The only real difference is it's non-religious, and we smoke the trees instead of decorate them!
The Stingy Stoner brings back vibes from the high school days, when everyone had to put $5 on it. You begin to side with this person until you realize he or she is eating all your snacks and hogging your TV.
Weed out these cancerous stoners from your crew to ensure a good time (no pun intended).
The Unsuspecting Smoker
We all know that one person we thought would be the last person on earth to ever even be in the same room as a freshly-lit joint. This person is often spotted doing his or her own thing, going about daily life for the first three months of the year.
Then, the Unsuspecting Smoker shows up at your house (or underground marijuana lair) on 420, looking for "the stuff."
You're shocked because you didn't think you'd live long enough to ever see this person smoke. Then, you find out this friend of yours smokes every night before bed and is probably a bigger stoner than you are.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Unsuspecting Smoker!
The Weed Snob
For just about anything that exists, there's a snob. There are wine snobs, car snobs, fashion snobs -- so many snobs. On 420, look out for the Weed Snob, also known as the stoner who thinks he or she knows all there is to know about this coveted plant.
The Weed Snob has most likely pissed you off from time to time while attempting to show you the "proper" way to hold a joint.
This oh-so-appreciative stoner would rather smoke his or her top-shelf scraps found at the bottom of an empty vile than smoke whatever it is you brought to the table.
Why? Because this person is a Weed Snob and that's what weed snobs do!
The Stoner Parent
Weed-smoking parents typically come out of the woodwork during 420. This is usually due to the fact that the pungent aroma of Mary Jane seeping through the floorboards of their home reminds them of their childhood.
What better way to reminisce than to do it all over again (for a day)?!
If you still live at home and your parents are totally cool with you blazing, there's a chance your parents have made a few rare appearances during one of your many smoke sessions. On 420, you can almost guarantee them to be in attendance.
Now, for those of us who don't have super-chill 420-friendly parents, you may still come across The Stoner Parent at a friend's house and you probably wish they would just adopt you already!
The Culture Vulture
How many people do you think understand the true meaning behind Cinco de Mayo? Not many. But these peeps still use it as an excuse to hit the bar and pound drinks before aimlessly walking into another bar for another round.
The same goes for 420! Instead of observing 420 the right way, The Culture Vulture would rather just tweet about it or snap a few pics in a pair of HUF weed socks for the 'gram.
The Culture Vulture isn't even a stoner but a mere parasite within the marijuana community. In other words, the Culture Vulture does it for the likes!
So, which 420 stoner are you?