There are so many crucial details to get through in this breaking news story right now I'm not quite sure where to begin.
Taylor Lautner joining Instagram for the first time might be a logical place to start, but that's not nearly as interesting as the fact he announced his arrival with a video featuring Adam Sandler and David Spade.
In the video, Lautner tries to talk Sandler into dabbing and suggests doing a slow-motion backflip to get more followers, only to be flatly rejected by Sandler.
Oh, and he offers ex-girlfriend Taylor Swift's number to David Spade.
While Lautner doesn't actually give out T Swift's number, the mere suggestion makes for an expert closer to this laugh riot of a video. And even though he's a little late to the Instagram party, Taylor Lautner clearly raised the bar for social media entrances.
Can anyone top this? Doubtful. I mean, the dude already has over 17,000 likes on his first video and 455,000 followers.
On another level, we all can't forget the true moral of this story: Now we all have unprecedented access into Taylor Lautner's personal life. Let the shameless stalking begin, "Twilight" fans.