Soap Opera Line: 'Please Tell Me That Is Not Your Penis'
Soap operas usually involve comas, sinister twin brothers with eye patches and people coming back from the dead, but dick pics popping up on your father's tablet?
That's a goddamn modern tragedy of insane proportions.
In the final scene of an episode of the New Zealand soap opera "Shortland Street," two horny teens think they have the house all to themselves when the teenage boy's father awkwardly makes it clear he's still in the home and rudely sends his son's girlfriend home.
In the segment below, the cock-blocker father confronts his son with (I cannot believe I'm typing this) a picture of what is potentially his son's penis on his synced tablet.
The segment ends with the father pointing at his tablet and barking at his son,
The tablet has done synced to your phone. Please tell me that is not your penis!
M. Night Shyamalan could not have written a better twist of an ending.
I'm just going to call it right now: This show is like "Lost" minus the Smoke Monster plus a picture of a penis.
But wait... is it his penis? IS IT HIS FUCKING PENIS OR WHAT? I can't wait for the next episode to find out.
Needless to say, Twitter had a lot of things to say on the matter.
When it comes to this series, Netflix better be a shower not a grower.
It's obvious whoever wrote this line deserves an award (or several dick pics sent their way as a means of tribute).
THE. SUSPENSE. IS. KILLING. ME.
The closest thing that's happened to me is I once went to Disneyland with my ex-girlfriend, and we drank so much we pretended we were engaged so we could score the bridal suite at the Paradise Pier hotel and a bunch of FastPasses.
I know, my Disney-bleeding heart is still repenting. I'm not proud of my life as a con artist.
We took a ton of "engagement photos" and this picture of rose petals that had been arranged into the word "love" and the shape of a heart.
Naturally, we wanted to share each other's photos, so we did that through our iCloud accounts... that were also connected to our family's accounts.
As a result, my parents (and her parents) became really confused as to whether or not I had eloped with my girlfriend at the time.
I did not.
Moral of the story: Don't ever sync up your pictures to your iCloud account. Don't sync anything ever. Stop syncing. Now.
If you'll excuse me, I have to pack my bindle stick and hit the rails. It's time to live the rest of my life off the grid.