In one of the most memorable episodes of "Sex And The City," Carrie temporarily lost the love of her life (Big), when he got engaged to a beautiful, classy and well-mannered young woman named Natasha.
The world is full of women just like Natasha.
They’re the women we love to hate because they always look perfectly polished, as if they’re on their way to some sort of magazine photo shoot.
It just isn’t fair.
The Natashas of the world will stroll into the office with perfectly smooth hair each and every day, with makeup that looks professionally applied. Natashas are extremely well-behaved and classy at all times. They don’t start fights or argue their case.
They keep things simple, rather than complicate a situation with stubborn opinions or irrational anxieties. They don’t have a wild sense of humor, weird quirks or complex analyzations.
It's this simplicity that makes it easier to commit to a Natasha, rather than dragging out a continued almost-relationship, like Big did for so long with Carrie.
In "Sex And The City," Carrie reads about Big and Natasha’s engagement party and asks herself why he chose Natasha and not her. Miranda (who always has Carrie’s back) points out her situation is very similar to the movie "The Way We Were."
When Samantha asks what she’s talking about, Miranda explains that in the movie, Hubbell (Robert Redford) falls madly in love with Katie (Barbara Streisand). But “he can’t be with Katie because she’s too complicated and she has wild, curly hair. So, he leaves her and marries this simple girl with straight hair.”
He marries a girl like Natasha, instead of a girl like Katie or Carrie.
Carrie then says, “Ladies. I’m having an epiphany. The world is made up of two types of women: the simple girls and the Katie girls. I’m a Katie girl!”
Urban Dictionary even has a definition for “Katie girl.” This is an unusual woman, who men don’t choose over less difficult women.
I’m a Carrie, and here's what it’s like to be a Carrie in a world full of Natashas:
1. People don’t get us.
I guess with Natashas, there’s not much to understand. Natasha probably enjoys a Starbucks latte each morning, and each evening, she loves going to aerobics class. She probably owns every vegan or non-dairy cookbook Barnes & Noble sells, and enjoys clean eating.
Natashas are good at keeping their opinions to themselves to avoid a fight. Instead of demanding to be treated better, she’ll let go of her resentment every time, for the sake of keeping the peace in her relationship.
Carries are passionate and emotional. Our mood shifts day-to-day, hour-to-hour. To make us feel good, you have to say and do the right things. We keep things interesting that way.
But I guess not everyone likes interesting.
We have a weird sense of humor not everyone gets. Most people don’t find us funny, and just think we’re plain weird.
But the rare gems will laugh their asses off at our jokes.
2. We march to the beat of our own drum.
Maybe life would be easier if I did things the normal way, but I just don’t. I’m a Carrie. However, this is what makes Carries so authentic and true to themselves.
Carries don’t care if they’re making things complicated by breaking the rules or by not conforming to social norms. Carries would rather be different and unique because someone will appreciate that about them.
One of the great things about marching to the beat of your own drum is you aren't afraid of an uncomfortable conversation. You'll call anyone out if you feel disrespected. You stand up for yourself.
The best part about marching to the beat of your own drum is there will always be someone who loves that about you, and recognizes how awesome and genuine you are.
Carries leap before they look. They don’t quite fit in and they take the road less travelled. But that less-travelled road leads to some great places.
3. We’re both dreamers and realists.
Carries are great at being both dreamers and realists. They’re realistic when the situation calls for it, but they also dream big.
Carries aren’t as good as Natashas at taking no for an answer. Carries have more questions than there’s time for answers.
Carries aren’t comfortable with giving up so easily. Carries want to feel emotions, rather than just go through the motions.
4. We don’t always look perfect, but we’re impressive without smoke and mirrors.
We won’t walk into Starbucks looking like we belong on a magazine cover.
We’ll wear makeup and do our hair on those rare occasions when the situation truly calls for it. But aside from those occasions, we don’t need makeup to impress people.
Sure, Carrie straightened her hair sometimes, and took extra time to get ready for certain important dates or events. But Carrie also understood her wit and her cleverness were far more impressive than anything else.
That’s why she was a writer and not a beauty queen.
5. It’s not as easy for us to find love.
We’re the woman an ex will realize he wants back years later. Perhaps years of dating Natashas bored our ex to death, and now he wants someone with passion, emotions, weird quirks and a raw realness.
Perhaps Carries are so unusual, it takes a long time for people to realize our unique traits are an extremely rare and good thing.
Sure, Carries might overanalyze relationships, but that’s because they care enough to do so. Natashas seem to be okay with boring, mediocre relationships.
In "Sex And The City," Carrie comes to terms with the fact Big just doesn’t get her. That’s why he chose the simple Natasha, since she’s so easy to deal with.
Carrie understands she’s more complicated than Natasha, but she doesn’t need to become a simple girl to find love. She realizes:
Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they’re meant to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with.
In other words, don’t attempt to transform yourself into a Natasha, just to land a boyfriend or make your dating life easier. That’s the biggest mistake you could ever make. Instead, stay single until you find someone who gets your weird sense of humor and loves it.
Stay single until you meet someone who appreciates all your quirks, enjoys your crazy opinions and is smitten by your unique personality.
Don’t forget, Big ends up with Carrie in the end, not Natasha.