Alright, squirrel friends, so it's been three full days since the RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9 finale episode and I think I've finally caught my breath after watching three of the best lip syncs in the herstory of the show (I'm looking at you, Alyssa and Tatiana).
The top four turned it out for the first ever finale lip syncs. I'm not kidding, Peppermint's reveal during "Stronger" cleared my acne, paid off my student loans, and helped me patch things up with all my exes.
TBH, after a fairly tame season, this is exactly the kind of thrill we were looking for in the finale, and holy sh*t did these girls deliver.
Performances aside, the best moment of the night was watching Season 8 winner, Bob The Drag Queen, crown our new, innovative, weird queen, Sasha Velour. (OK, I just shrieked again.)
But that moment probably wouldn't have happened had she not left us gasping for air during not one, BUT TWO, Whitney Houston lip syncs. That's right, it's all coming back now, and I might need a second EKG.
Queen Sasha absolutely blew our minds during her final performance against Peppermint when she deconstructed the mask on her face piece by piece (take notes, Valentina).
But the moment that left us clutching our pearls and checking our pulses came during her first face-off against Shea Couleé to Whitney's "So Emotional" when she literally scalped herself bald to reveal falling rose petals.
YES. SHE. DID. THAT. My wig is just now coming back down from orbiting the f*cking solar system.
I mean, the crowds went WILD.
Well, prepare to re-experience all the emotion of last Friday night, because Sasha just came for our wigs again when she let us know she had an entirely different reveal planned for if she had gotten "Stronger."
She told Buzzfeed's RuPaul's Drag Race podcast:
She went on to talk about the work that goes into her performances as a drag superstar,
I think what Sasha says here is true of all the girls the top four, which probably made it hard AF for Mama Ru to choose between Trinity, Shea, Pepp, and Sasha. But, there's no denying that Sasha's charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent earned her this year's crown. Sasha Velour, shantay, you slay.
I can't wait to see what our fierce queen does next.