Ruby Rose And Fiancée Split, She's Single And Everyone Is Freaking Out
Everyone relax for just one second.
Imagine you're driving to work in two-lane rush hour traffic and your car is creeping along at a painstakingly slow pace.
Suddenly, the third lane, part of which is under construction, opens up a few miles down the highway and it's a goddamn free for all.
No one is driving in a smart or safe way. There are people getting cut off, rear-ended and driven off the road. Your commute ends up being even longer because no one can find any fah-reak-ing chill.
Consider, now, applying the same thoughtful, defensive and deliberate approach to Ruby Rose being newly single as you'd optimally apply to a dicey traffic situation.
If everyone is on his or her best behavior and a horde of thirsty, nude lunatics don't show up in her front yard overnight, we all stand a better chance with the “Orange Is the New Black” star.
Sure, Rose and her fiancée, designer Phoebe Dahl, called off their engagement allegedly due to distance caused by busy work schedules.
Yes, Rose has exceptionally gorgeous feminine features paired with a classically masculine style due to a life of gender fluidity that drives every human on the face of the earth insane with lust.
However, the split was not a contentious, dramatic one. Rose and Dahl are still reportedly sorting out custody of their shared pets and a source told E! News,
It's completely amicable and they wish each other the best.
There's still love in that home, people. Don't go losing your minds and Googling her address just yet because no one knows how this will truly shake out until we give Rose and Dahl the space to do so.
I think we can all agree to just sit back and... oh, Jesus Christ, Twitter.
Just be cool, remember?
No. Give her space.
Come on, people, don't bring Santa into this.
I will use a Taser on all of you if I have to.
PUT YOUR TONGUES AWAY.
I SAID PUT THEM AWAY!
Congratulations. I hope you're all happy. The Internet has turned into a massive, sweaty traffic jam of horny Ruby Rose tweets.
Ice your crotches and think about what you've done.