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Owen Wilson as Agent Mobius, Jet Ski enthusiast in 'Loki'

Loki All But Confirmed A Huge (And Hilarious) Fan Theory About Mobius

Get this man a jet ski.

Marvel Studios

One of Loki’s chief delights was the introduction of the Time Variance Authority. The 1970s era bureaucratic insanity, known as the TVA, monitors the Sacred Timeline. It is so efficient in applying red tape it took the God of Mischief and had him in button-downs and skinny ties doing mindless training videos in record time. But as fans learned in the show’s third episode, that’s not because Loki always secretly yearned for middle management. It’s because that’s what they do. That’s led fans to this Loki theory about Mobius and jet skis, which seems to be more plausible by the miss minute.

Warning: Spoilers for Loki Season 1, Episode 3 follow. The mystery of the TVA and the Time-Keepers has been tantalizing viewers since the series’ first episode. But most intriguingly, there are the bureaucratic minions themselves that run the place. From Casey the fishless wonder to the real-life version of Roz from Monsters Inc, fans have had questions about where these paper pushing drones come from. Moreover, Agent Mobius’ explanation seemed weak. The TVA created them; they have always worked for the TVA, they will always work for the TVA for all eternity.

So how come Mobius, who has never been to the beach for relaxation or driven an Earth vehicle for funsies, likes jet skis so much? How does a man who never lived through the American 1990s drink Josta?

For God’s sake, where did they all learn to touch type?

Apparently, they learned in their former lives.

Marvel Studios

Unlike Loki, who immediately got a cubicle and learned the filing system, Sylvie has been shortcutting her way to the top of the TVA. Her method, kidnapping Hunters and using their memories to discover the Time-Keepers’ secrets, has revealed that Mobius’ belief “we have always been bureaucrats” is false. Every single employee of the TVA is a Variant removed from the timeline and reprogrammed to serve. (I don’t know who their steward is, but I’m pretty sure this goes against any collective bargaining agreement currently in place.)

The revelation explains a lot about Mobius to fans, who have been wildly theorizing that he was a jet ski salesman in a former life. Obviously, he was someone who lived through the 1990s in America, probably on the West Coast and sold jet skis for a living. Or perhaps he was a jet ski champion? (The sport turned pro in the early 1980s.)

One theory fans can cross off the list: Any hope that Agent Mobius will turn out to be a Variant of Owen Wilson. Unfortunately, the actor isn’t really into the sport — sorry, fans hoping for proof that the Adam Sandlerverse exists within the MCU.

Of course, the real question is what will Mobius do when he learns the truth about himself. (One assumes Casey might head off to discover fish.) Will the revelation they’ve all been lied to about their circumstances cause the TVA employees to overthrow their Time-Keeper issued timekeeping timecards? Will they submit complaints in triplicate? Perhaps it’s time to take an extra-long lunch break and have another box of Boku under the lunchroom’s “The timeline won’t wait for seconds” poster.

Loki continues with new episodes every Wednesday on Disney+.