In a blog post, "The Bachelorette," Kaitlyn Bristowe, talks candidly about sex with contestant Nick Viall.
"Taking a relationship to an intimate level is very private to me. And that is why this is difficult as the Bachelorette. Nothing is private. "Should I have had sex with Nick in that moment? Probably not my best idea, but intimacy is important to me and I don't believe the act is wrong. "I got lost in the moment and maybe I shouldn't have made that choice. Hindsight is 20/20. I can't help but wonder if I waited a couple weeks and did that in the fantasy suite and didn't talk about it, would I be getting this kind of backlash?"
We meet. We date. We eventually have sex with the man we are dating. This is no secret, and it is nothing to be ashamed of or be slut-shamed for.
It doesn’t matter if you are "The Bachelorette," or an average woman walking around in society.
Let’s be honest here: How many stories are out there about “The Bachelor” contestants' sex lives? Next to none.
In fact, most men would high-five Nick Viall on the street if they saw him, and give him an "atta-boy!" for tapping that.
The fact that Kaitlyn is worried about her choice to have sex with Nick -- or getting backlash because of this blog post -- only highlights the ridiculous double standard in our society, surrounding sex and women.
There’s nothing wrong with craving intimacy and acting on the desire for sex. That goes triple for sex in a potential long-term relationship.
If a woman wants to explore her sexuality, I’m from the school of thought that sometimes, the best way to get over one is to get under one.
Sleep with who you want, when you want. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone.
As long is a woman is acting in the best interest of herself, playing it safe and not hurting herself or anyone else, she has every right to have at it as she so pleases.
As grown-ass, independent women, we should let go of what society thinks and do what feels right for us.
Anyone who points a finger or talks sh*t about how you live your life, quite frankly, needs to get a life and mind his or her own damn business.
Other women need to do this, especially. You're not in control of anyone's vagina but your own, so remember, you don’t get a say.
Sorry, not sorry, if other women don’t have the guts to express themselves, or are probably a little jealous of another woman who does. That’s their issue, not yours, sister.
What you do with your body is all about personal choice.
Let’s just say you’re recently divorced, and you were with the same person for the past five or 10 years, and now you are a little rusty in the bedroom.
New partners can help you explore your adventurous side.
The same could be said for a woman who has only had a few sexual partners as well.
Instead of shaming women for what is a completely natural occurrence, why not shine light on the positives that can come from different sexual partners?
At some point in our lives, many of us went through a short “slutty phase” — men and women included.
You would never see a guy having a friend-tervention with his buddy and thinking of this behavior as a cry for help or an act of low self-esteem.
Again, there would be high-fives all over the place.
Yet, women will call their girlfriends out on this sh*t all the time. Nine times out of 10, it’s because of the association with a “slutty girl” more than an actual concern.
PS: If you are the friend who sees this behavior in a girlfriend and thinks it is as an opportunity to tell her a cautionary tale of why she should stop, don’t.
Unless her life is in serious danger, let her act as she pleases! She’ll stop when she is ready.
At the end of the day, life is messy and people are far from perfect.
Maybe if we stayed in our own damn lanes, stopped seeking “perfection” in ourselves and others in an imperfect world, we wouldn’t even have time to be concerning ourselves with Kaitlyn's choices, or any other woman’s.