Uh, sit down. Just sit down. Are you sitting?
OK, try to stay relaxed when I tell you “The Little Mermaid” is coming to THE FREAKING HOLLYWOOD BOWL, AND IT'S GOING TO BE LIVE AS HELL.
IT'S A FILM SCREENING WITH A 71-PIECE GODDAMN ORCHESTRA AND PERFORMANCES BY EVERYONE'S FAVORITE FAMOUS PEOPLE.
OK, calm down. You need to CALM. DOWN. Are you calm? OK, because wait until you hear the cast.
Sara Bareilles as Ariel. PERFECT. YES. VOICE OF A SOULFUL ANGEL WITH A PAST.
Rebel Wilson as Ursula. WHAT? SHUT UP. I AM ALREADY LAUGHING. I STRAIGHT-UP JUST PEED I LAUGHED SO HARD.
Tituss Burgess as Sebastian. FINALLY. PINOT NOIR IS OFFICIALLY AVAILABLE UNDER THE MF-ING SEA.
John Stamos as Chef Louis. THIS GUY IS F*CKING EVERYWHERE.
Darren Criss as Prince Eric. POWERHOUSE VOCALS AND EYES LIKE A GLISTENING BRICK OF PEANUT BRITTLE? UH, YAH, THAT'LL DO.
Norm Lewis as King Triton. WH-WH-WHA??? ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST? WE ARE NOT WORTHY!Joshua Colley as Flounder.
THERE'S EVEN AN ABSURDLY ACCOMPLISHED MIDDLE SCHOOLER WITH A HEART OF GOLD -- SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE.
The cast is already amped for the June 4 performance. In a statement, Wilson called sea witch Ursula “such a delicious role,” and Bareilles nodded to childhood nostalgia.
I've been pretending I was Ariel in swimming pools since I was a little girl, and now I get to pretend on a bigger stage. This is just fantastic.
It really is the MOST fantastic, Sara. THE MOST.
Disney fans are familiar with the work of Alan Menken, who co-wrote the 1989 film's music in his first attempt at scoring a film.
Songs penned by Menken for the Broadway version of the tale will be added to this performance, including Prince Eric's “Her Voice.”
If you're still on the fence regarding whether or not to snatch up every last ticket that goes on sale April 9 at 10 am PST, you should know the Hollywood Bowl show will open with a medley of Menken's fan-favorites from “Beauty and the Beast,” “Aladdin,” “Pocahontas,” “Newsies,” “Enchanted” and “Tangled.”
I KNOW, RIGHT???