In Russia, Jack lets go of you!
But seriously, folks, Russia has a doppelgänger of Leonardo DiCaprio, but he's more like a pale, Gulag-lookin' version of America's favorite Oscar-less child.
He looks like what would happen if Leonardo DiCaprio had sex with Eric Cartman on top of a sweaty Ben Affleck wig.
Keep in mind, that was Russia's best effort at copying Leonardo.
Let's all take a moment to remember this FOYNNNNN Swedish model named Konrad Annerud who bears a striking resemblance to pre-"The Departed" Leo.
Hachi Chachi! I'm straight, and I wouldn't exactly mind wolfing on that guy's Wall Street.
Hey! Konrad! Are you tired? Because you've been running through my dreams inside of a dream, inside of a dream, inside of another dream all night.
No, eww! Not you, Russian Leonardo! Get out of here, you goop monster!