You're Probably Crushing On Laura Nirider From 'Making A Murderer'

by Eitan Levine

Yo, for real, can we all talk about Laura Nirider for a hot sec?

If you're like everyone else with WiFi and a friend's mom's Netflix password, there is a good chance you gobbled up “Making a Murderer” this past week.

If you haven't, WTF is wrong with you? We aren't speaking anymore. You are worse to me than Ken Kratz.

If you have, but aren't done with the series yet, there are no spoilers in this post.

Actually, there is one spoiler. In episode 10, there is a legal GODDESS introduced to the cast named Laura Nirider, and I guarantee you will be HARDCORE crushing on her by the time the show ends.

You can keep fangirling over Dean Strang and Jerry Buting all you want. I'll be over here bowing down to the TRUE queen of the Wisconsin justice system, Laura "Innocent Until I Say Otherwise" Nirider.

She's honestly perfect. She's flawless. She's this generation's Oprah. She's smart, driven, interesting, super cute, approachable, articulate, super cute, has a good accent, has a great job, seems like she'd be a RIOT at parties, super cute, probably into The Strokes, def likes football, loves justice, very cute and has a professional, but relatable, fashion sense.

I am the cheese curds to her literally any Wisconsin dish. Her appeal is kind of like the Manitowoc County legal system in that you think you're safe and can decide if you like her, but deep down inside you have zero control.


The Internet is 100 percent on board. It's a Laura Nirider world, and we're all just sitting in the jury box.

Nothing "lowkey" about these emotions.

"Hubba Hubba! WE RESPECT THIS GEM OF A PERSON!" – The World

So, here is the question: Is she married? Is it game-set-match?

This is a (not creepy) screenshot of Laura's hands I took from the show, and there is def some disconcerting bling.

I asked three female coworkers about what they thought.

They said,

Maybe it's a promise ring. It looks like a wedding band, though. Yeah, it's a wedding ring. Eitan. Enough.

I then asked three male coworkers what they thought of the bling.

They said,

That's a little depressing. In a weird way, this is depressing Not a sad fact to me. It could be for other people. She's off the market.

Well, I think there is only one way to figure this out. Laura, I think you and I should get dinner, low-key, nothing too fancy. I just want to talk and stuff. *cough* Marry me. *cough* Huh? What? What's that? Oh nothing. Just coughing... Just coughing... You complete me.