You ready for this massive Kardashian konspiracy theory? Kylie Jenner may have secretly been building a music career over the past few months.
Yeah, I KNOW. I KNOW. I EFFING KNOW.
Take a minute. Go for a walk. Finish convulsing.
OK, you ready?
Here it is: A couple months ago, Kylie Jenner released a weird music video associated with Kylie's Lip Kits. It was some sort of violent, extended commercial that involved models with guns using criminal jargon like,
Is the money all there? We're gonna have a problem if the money isn't all there.
Think of it like a sexy (but not sexy) cocaine deal with Kylie Lip Kit product placement.
You know what, here. Just watch it.
Once again, take a minute to recover.
OK. As hard as this is going to be, I'm going to ask you not to focus on the outrageous violence and absurd plotline from the commercial, and really listen to the background music underscoring this Millennial attempt at “Scarface.”
That song is called “3 Strikes,” and it's by a new group called Terror Jr.
Wait. Terror Jr. Kylie. K. Terror K. Terror JK.
Oh my God, Terror Jr's lead singer is Kylie Jenner. Holy ballz.
OK, that name thing may have been a stretch, but just listen to Kylie's voice for a second here:
Now, listen to this Terror Jr song:
Listen to her here again:
And listen, once again, to Terror Jr here:
Oh my God.
It's her. It has to be her. It sounds like her, Terror Jr wasn't around until that Lip Kit commercial thing was released and the Internet agrees.
Terror Jr as a group is also mysterious as hell.
For starters, its Facebook page doesn't list any real information, including band members. In fact, the only thing listed in its bio is "even angels had to stab a few people."
This is the only picture on the page of the group.
The band's Twitter account is just as vague as its Facebook page and has yet to dispel any Kylie-based rumors.
In fact, it sort of implies she is actually in the band in some tweets.
Terror Jr is signed to Effess Records, which is owned by producer Felix Snow. The group is the project of Snow, who is also responsible for creating Kiiara.
In an interview with Fader, a rep for Effess described the group -- which is fronted by a woman who just goes by the name "Lisa" -- as a "dream pop supergroup."
Is Lisa actually Kylie? The Hannah Montana to Kris Jenner's Miley Cyrus?
What do you think?