Seriously, What The F*ck Is Going On With Kourtney Kardashian?
I am extremely concerned about Kourtney Kardashian, and you should be, too.
I'm not quite sure if any of you noticed, but something SUPER bizarre is going on with the 36-year-old reality star.
I'm really scared for her because something just... isn't right.
Not only do I fear for Kourtney, but I fear for her family, her kids, her fans, her long-lost relatives and all her Instagram followers. If I'm being totally honest, I fear for the world.
Here, I'll fill you in. Let's start at the beginning.
Exactly three weeks ago, Kourtney Kardashian posted this photo on Instagram.
She captioned the photo,
It's a nice selfie, right? She looks happy, normal, carefree. She's standing against this brown wooden wall and smiling at the camera. We can all agree there's nothing strange about that.
Now, let's fast forward two weeks, shall we?
Kourtney Kardashian posted another selfie standing in front of that same brown wall.
There really isn't anything too odd about this photo either, right?
She decided not to caption the photo for reasons we aren't quite sure of. Perhaps she felt a bit under the weather and was too weak to type a few words. Who knows.
But OK, stay with me. This is where sh*t gets weird. Kourtney then posted TWO MORE PHOTOS OF HER STANDING IN FRONT OF THE SAME GODDAMN WALL. Three in a row.
All of the photos are of her doing THE EXACT SAME THING.
Yeah, I know, that's freaking bizarre. Perhaps she uploaded the shots by accident. Maybe she was sick, and her vision was blurred so she didn't even notice how many pics she added.
Well, after further investigation, I learned the truth, and I now know that wasn't the case at all. You see, she actually added all three intentionally -- aka on purpose. I know, freaky, right?
A week later, Kourtney went back to Instagram to add THREE MORE PHOTOS OF HER AGAINST THE WALL. What the f*ck is going on?!
Why THREE photos? What does it mean?
Is it a code? Is Kourtney trying to communicate with us through Instagram and tell us she's in danger?!?!?
AND WHO IS SHE LOOKING AT? Is someone making her do this? Is someone forcing her to stand against this ugly brown wall and pose three times in a row until her face can't physically take it?!
The madness didn't stop there, my friends. It kept going.
A few days passed, and Kourtney uploaded THREE MORE PHOTOS. This time, however, she was up against a white wall. Yeah, you heard that right. It's a different f*cking wall.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BROWN ONE? WHERE THE F*CK IS SHE NOW?
Is she in pain? Is she hurting? Is she a robot? Is she in the Illuminati?!?! Does she maybe just not know how to count?
Kourtney, we are only addressing this issue because we care about you, OK?
We want to be here to support you and offer you the help you need.
I know it must be a difficult time, but you can get through this. We can all get through this together.
If you or a loved one is suffering the same way Kourtney Kardashian is, please do not be afraid to reach out for help. Be safe, everyone. It's a f*cked up world out there.