OK, I hate to be that girl, but it turns out we've all been making a really dumb mistake for more than a decade now.
You know Jennifer Lopez's 2001 song "I'm Real"? And you know the remix featuring Ja Rule? Of course you do, we're all proud '90s kids here.
Here are the facts.
That song begins with a simple question posed by Ja Rule,
What's my motherf*ckin' name?
To which JLo responds,
Are you Ellie?
EXCEPT THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE SAYS AT ALL. As Jia Tolentino from Jezebel figured out at the beginning of this week, JLo actually says,
Which... makes sense. She's spelling out Ja Rule's name. Like you do in a rap song. Because obviously she knows his name is Ja Rule, because they are doing this song together.
JLo is not venturing a random guess as to what this dude who is rapping on her song's name is. Obviously. And yet, this ENTIRE TIME I thought JLo just straight-up thought Ja Rule's name might be Ellie.
Like Ja Rule was like, "Hey guys, here's a fun game, let's try to guess my name!" and JLo was like, "Ooo I will play that game. Let's see... are you Ellie?" and Ja Rule was like, "Nope, good guess though! Try again!"
Yep, that was a really stupid thing to think. It makes no sense. And yet for 15 years I accepted JLo was just maybe a little bit dumb. But of course she's not. She's JLo. I'm the dumb one.
At least I'm not the only one who made this mistake.
Listen. This is a safe space. I'm just as ashamed as you are. We can all admit our fault together.
I hope someday JLo can forgive us all.