Why We Hate Carrie Bradshaw, But Love 'Sex And The City'

by Lauren Martin

Remember when you were younger and told everyone you were the “Carrie” of the group? How embarrassed are you now? Because even though it’s been 10 years and we’re all still watching “Sex and The City,” we’re now smart enough to realize Carrie is the absolute worst thing ever to happen to that show.

But “Sex and The City” is still really, really good. How can that be? How can we love something so much, while at the same time hate everything it stands for? Tell us Bill Cosby, tell us!

Because the perplexing conundrum is still that while everyone wants to be Carrie, no one actually wants to be Carrie.

We want her friends, her apartment, her job, her men. We want the shoes and the brunches and the clothes… the clothes! But f*ck if we ever actually have to be Carrie. No way, take the Manolos back, we didn’t sign up to be that "crazy" b*itch.

So what's the deal? How can we love a show so much while loathing its protagonist?

Well, I got to thinking (please notice that brilliant reference), and once you get over Carrie and her “quirky” high-pitched, shrill voice and that horrible licking of the left corner of her lip, you're left with a damn good show about women, all types of women.

You put up with her selfish, deviant and downright awkward personality quirks for the greater good of the plot line.

Because even though we know it's lame to like its protagonist, it will never, ever be lame to like "Sex and the City."

Carrie is never happy unless she’s with a man, "Sex and The City" is about the power of womanhood

Carrie’s life is devoted to finding that one guy who will make her happy.

Even though she has the ideal career, friends who will take out her diaphragm and a rent-controlled apartment in New York City, nothing will make her happy until she’s found the perfect man to build her the perfect closet.

The show, however, is about how to be happy when you can't find a man, when the men in your life keep disappointing you and it's the women who can provide that happiness.

It’s about the power of sisterhood and friendship and the enduring strength of womanhood.

Carrie has no consequences, "Sex and The City" is all about consequences

Carrie can cheat on Aidan and he comes back with a ring. She can throw multiple fits in front of Mr. Big and he still chases her to Paris, yet real life, and the rest of the show, is not like that.

The women are consistently faced with failure, disappointment and consequences for their actions.

Take Charlotte and Tray's marriage, Miranda's pregnancy after a one-night stand with her ex and Samantha's multiple failed attempts at real love.

Carrie asks too much of men, "Sex and The City" asks what the f*ck is up with men

Not too long ago, Chris Noth came out stating that he, Mr. Big, wasn’t the bad guy, Carrie was just a crazy bitch who tried to marry a man who didn't want to get married. (I’m paraphrasing).

With Aidan, she didn't like his stomach, his rings or his dogs. With Berger, she wanted him to stop being so sensitive and start taking care of her.

The show, on the other hand, wasn't about finding the perfect man, but rather, explaining why he doesn't exist.

It's about consoling women and providing insight to the insanity men bring. It's about comforting women, while handing them the honest truth: the perfect man does not exist.

Carrie makes unrealistic demands of her friends, "Sex and the City" is all about the support of friendship

Charlotte, give me money; Miranda, give me an ear to talk off; Samantha, make me feel better about being kind of slutty. Carrie was never a giver in the relationship with her friends, but a taker.

She demanded things from them and was constantly ignoring their problems to talk about her own.

Yet all the other women in the show proved there's nothing more important or healthy than your relationships. It's give and take and if your friend wants to talk about her tilted uterus, you better be there for her.

Carrie needs to be rescued, "Sex and The City" is about rescuing ourselves

She needs the closet, the man and the happily ever after. At 40, most of the women in the show have accepted that it's not a man they need, but self-validation.

Because being single in New York City isn't about finding a husband, it's about finding yourself.

Carrie never deals with any loss, "Sex and the City" is all about loss

Carrie easily bitches the most, yet has the easiest time of all the women. Besides her faulty relationships, Carrie had a seemingly charmed life throughout the six seasons.

The only loss she accrued was a pair of Manolos, which she eventually got back. That's not real life and we hate bitches who never have to deal with sh*t.

Miranda, on the other hand, lost her mom, Samantha had cancer, and Charlotte couldn’t have a baby. These are all real problems, problems that made us better equipped with dealing with what's ahead of us in life.

Carrie Bradshaw never changes, "Sex and the City" is all about the evolution of women

Throughout the six seasons, there is no evolution in the character of Carrie Bradshaw (except her hair, which thankfully evolves past that bob in season four).

She remains the same whiny, self-indulgent, spoiled woman who takes off to Paris with one of the biggest assh*les syndicated television has ever seen.

The rest of the cast, however, matured into wise women with their lessons of life and love proudly behind them. Miranda is living in Brooklyn with her husband and son; Charlotte is adopting a baby and marrying a man for his warm heart, not his status; Samantha is in a committed relationship.

Everyone grew and moved on, except Carrie, who just told young girls everywhere that the man who broke your heart and treated you like sh*t for seven years will give you that happily ever after you so naively chased into your forties.