Close your eyes, and imagine the Valentine's Day of your wildest dreams.
Are you imagining? Good.
OK, is Channing Tatum there?
WTF DO YOU MEAN, "NO, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND"??? SINCE WHEN ARE THOSE TWO THINGS RELATED??? I SAID, "WILDEST DREAMS," AS IN, TAYLOR SWIFT'S MUSIC VIDEO BUT WITH WAY FEWER LIONS AND WAY MORE CHANNING TATUM.
Close your eyes, and try again.
OK, is Jimmy Kimmel there?
UGH, HAVE YOU EVER EVEN USED YOUR IMAGINATION??? I'M LOOKING FOR A FULL FANTASY WITH SWEET CANDY, SEXY COUCHES, WITTY COMMENTARY AND A SMOKING-HOT SIDE DISH OF CHANNY TATERS (KETCHUP NOT INCLUDED BECAUSE THINGS ARE GETTING MESSY ENOUGH AS IT IS).
Just -- you know what? Someday, you'll realize true happiness is found only when Jimmy Kimmel pulls you off the street and onto his show to sit comfortably as Channing Tatum reads you candy hearts and places them tenderly on your tongue.
Until then, live vicariously through the "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" guest whose most sensual Chantasies became reality in the video below.