Mac Daddy Santa is back, but no one asked for this, Tiger Woods. No one asked for this...
According to Tiger Woods, Mac Daddy Santa is a Christmas tradition for his children and I am 100% confused.
If my father did this I would call Child Protective Services myself, and I love my father.
Why would you think it was a good idea to share this with the entire Internet on your Twitter?
The golfer just returned to competitive golf after a 15 month absence due to back surgery.
But Mac Daddy Santa should never have returned. The white-dyed goatee is an image I won't soon forget.
Naturally, Twitter was savage AF.
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a blouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Mac Daddy Santa soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of nipples haunted their heads.
And some caddy with a nine iron, and Tiger in his cap, had just sunk a putt with an 18 handicap.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, gave the luster of mid-day to Tiger's breasts, nipples aglow.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a grey goatee and a whole lot of fear.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nipples so hairy!
I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and I hope you think my nipples look all right!"
Remember kids. Instead of milk and cookies, Mac Daddy Santa likes bourbon and condoms.
If you're "bad," you're put on his "naughty" list and he'll try to sext you well into the New Year.