Ed Sheeran cowrote a song called "Little Things" for One Direction, but for those of you out there wondering, it is not about Harry Styles' penis. I'm sure almost none of you out there were wondering that, but a host of a New Zealand radio program apparently was.
The interviewer asked Sheeran if the track was about any of the members of the beleaguered boy band's members.
Sheeran answered with a resounding "no." In fact, he made a point of saying Harry Styles has quite a sizable unit. A real hog.
[Harry] definitely hasn't got a little thing, so no, I did not write 'Little Things' about little things.
I have no idea how Sheeran came by this information, but I'll just let you all speculate about that. In other news, my life has become a Millennial-themed Kafkaesque nightmare.