So, you wanna win The Bachelor?
America as a whole is currently watching Nick Viall bone his way through Instagram models and aspiring dolphin trainers on a quest to find a wife.
There is one big question everyone who watches the show is secretly wondering, though: WHAT ARE THE MATHEMATICAL ODDS THAT I'M GOING TO GET SOME OF THAT BACHELOR D?!?!?
We broke down the demographics of all past Bachelor winners so you can tell just how much you won't be getting that Bachelor D.
In case you're more of a visual learner but have severe motion sickness and couldn't concentrate on the video, we boiled down the important information into a nifty lil' infographic.
For starters, 11 of the seasons have ended with a proposal, with nine of those proposals coming during the last 10 seasons.
A ridiculous stat: Out of 19 Bachelor winners, 17 were white. That's 89 percent, and that's absolutely insane -- or shall I say unreal.
Let's talk hair. Of the 19 winners, 11 of them were blonde and eight were brunette. SO FUCK YOU, RED HEADS.
The average age of every Bachelor winner was 25.57, with the youngest being 22 years old and the oldest being 36.
Don't let that higher bar confuse you though -- Bachelor contestants normally won't chase anything that's aged near 30 years old. The second-oldest winner was 28.
There wasn't really a clear profession to work in, or state to have been born in, when it comes to gaining an edge to nail down a Bachelor for yourself.
Three previous winners worked as nurses, two worked as teachers, three had employment in PR-related services and four had "general business" jobs.
As far as states go, four were from California, three were from Florida and two were from Texas.
So, go out there and nail down yourself a bachelor, you 25.57-year-old blonde marshmallows! The rest of us useless crap monsters can go fuck ourselves!