The Chainsmokers' New Song Will Be Stuck In Your Head The Rest Of 2017

by Taylor Ortega

Finally. A new song to browse the Urban Outfitters clearance rack to.

It's been months since the kids had a song to listen to while buying mesh cutout leggings and getting infinity symbols tattooed on their ankles, but the Chainsmokers are back to solve that problem faster than you can instate the constant, repetitive use of “Closer” as an information extraction technique at Guantanamo Bay.

The duo's new single, “Paris,” is another electro-pop song of romantic escape. Or robbery, in all honesty. It could be a song about armed robbery.

The chorus goes,

If we go down, then we go down together. They'll say you could do anything, they'll say that I was clever. If we go down, then we go down together. We'll get away with everything. Let's show them we are better. Let's show them we are better. Let's show them we are better.

This is clearly just the life and times of Bonnie and Clyde, a couple the Chainsmokers are not the first to memorialize in their music.

Beyoncé and Jay Z likened themselves to the criminal couple in “'03 Bonnie & Clyde,” and Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames climbed the charts in 1968 telling their story in “The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde.”

Also, there was that whole Broadway musical, for a minute.

Point is, bank robbery is a federal crime. Bonnie and Clyde committed a series of violent, federal crimes and were shot to death in their car wearing whatever shapeless wool scraps people wore during the Great Depression.

Enjoy the Chainsmokers' new single if you must, but remember that as moving as music is, it's not an invitation to walk into a bank, hold everyone hostage and steal a bunch of cash that was never yours to begin with.

Don't be an asshole and ruin "Paris" for all of us.