HEY! KIDS! HELLO? HEY! LOOK AT ME. LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW. SHUT U— STOP IT. SIT DOWN.
This year has been HELL ON EARTH and y'all are out here pitting the two women who hold they key to our salvation as a human race against each other? IS THAT WHAT I AM TO UNDERSTAND?
For those of you still reading -- even though you have no idea what the damn hell I'm screaming at the TOP OF MY GODDAMN LUNGS about -- here's a refresher:
On Tuesday, it was announced untouchable, mononymous sorceresses Beyoncé and Rihanna were nominated for a combined 17 Grammy awards. Rihanna earned eight noms for her work on Anti, while Bey scored nine noms for Lemonade.
The shit storm began when RiRi's fans noticed Lemonade had been nominated for both Album of the Year and Song of the Year, but Anti had not, which many members of the Navy considered unacceptable on their queen, Rihanna's, behalf.
One member's Instagram post, captured by The Shade Room, suggested, “I think they didn't want her tied or passing someone else *cough cough* [lemon emoji].”
Rihanna liked the post and rumors she was shading Yoncé began to spread.
The Beyhive swarmed RiRi's Insta with bee and lemon emoji...
While the Navy descended upon Beyoncé's Insta with red balloon, anchor and ship emoji.
It was a slapdash mess and everyone should be ashamed of themselves.
*pause for shame*
Because she is actually a heaven-sent gift mankind will never deserve, Rihanna cleared things up in the comments.
I'm petty af, yes. But this is just unnecessary! …We don't need to be putting black women against each other! We deserve to be celebrated, and the Grammy Academy agrees!
With 2016 being the massive, cystic ass pimple it was from start to finish, we need to stay united in our love of both Beyoncé AND Rihanna.
There are few good things in this world. Let's not ruin what rare treasures still remain.