Sorry sweetheart, I see right through your Snapchat filter.
You see, Bella Hadid is a Victoria's Secret Model with a face that looks airbrushed as soon as she wakes up in the morning. Her waist is the size of my fist and her used tissue has more value than my life.
There is no fucking way this girl puts fried food in her mouth 365 days a year and still has clear skin and a thigh gap larger than China.
Now, I'm not against chowing down on a good ol' grilled cheese seven days a week. Yo, I'm fucking about that life.
BUT IF YOU'RE TELLING ME BELLA HADID GETS TO DIVULGE ON THIS SHIT EVERY DAY AND STILL HAVE A BODY LIKE AN ANGEL, I'MA FREAKING LOSE IT.
Here's my sick theory about models and junk food: How many times have you seen a picture of an extremely thin and attractive woman posing with french fries? A million, right?
But, how many times have you actually seen those french fries or that slice of pizza or those chicken nuggets, enter the hot woman's mouth? I mean like chew and swallow.
How do we know that these models are actually eating the food they pose with in pictures?!?
What if Bella Hadid is just like, "I eat grilled cheese and fries every single day, so you should do it too!" and then she gets off Snapchat and thinks "PSYCH BITCHES I'm 'bout to go ham on some cut up cucumber while your fat ass eats fried food."
And then there I am, lying in bed naked watching cheese documentaries with my belly covered in french fries... justifying every bite by telling myself this is how Victoria's Secret models live their life.
Thanks, Bella! Merry Christmas to you, too.