Anna Faris Is Finally Going To Teach Us How To Get A Guy Like Chris Pratt

LISTEN, WE'RE ALL MAD ANNA FARIS LOCKED DOWN CHRIS PRATT BEFORE THE REST OF US HAD A CHANCE, BUT SHE'S COME UP WITH A COMPROMISE.

Put down your crossbows and let's hear her out, OK?

According to a statement released Thursday, Anna plans to turn her podcast, “Anna Faris is Unqualified,” into a book advising readers precisely “how to navigate the bizarre, chaotic and worthwhile adventure of finding love.”

Chya boi Chris will write the book's forward, but not by hand, so don't try breathing deeply to lift his scent from the pages.

In the press release, Anna shared her excitement and also said “namaste,” although she probably meant it sarcastically.

She said,

I could not be more excited to get my stories – on love, relationships and courtship – to the people who not only buy books, but then actually read those books. Namaste.

There's no word yet on how much of the book will concern itself with Sanskrit phrases, but hopefully there are enough firsthand Chris-gettin' tips to help us all find happiness in the arms of a lovable-comedic-dope-turned-hot-sexy-action-hero.

Just make it happen, Anna, please and thank you.

Citations: Anna Faris to release memoir, Unqualified (Entertainment Weekly)