Adele will not be setting fire to the rain at Super Bowl LI.
Last week, the internet shat themselves after rumors of a possible Adele Super Bowl halftime show started bubbling up.
Forget CTE, forget NCAA hypocrisies when drafting, forget how stadiums are paid for by taxpayers, forget domestic abuse problems and forget inconsistent drug policies.
ADELE IS PERFORMING, SO NONE OF THAT MATTERS ANYMORE. THE NFL GETS A PASS IN MY BOOK. IT TRULY IS THE GREATEST ORGANIZATION IN T…
*man with headset whispers into my ear*
Oh, Adele isn't actually performing. Nm.
Fuck the NFL.
The 28-year-old British vocal phoenix supposedly was as shocked to hear she'd be performing at the Super Bowl as you were, according to this video someone took during a concert.
“WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL/ I HATE SUPER BOWL 17."
Adele ne fera pas la mi-temps du #SuperBowl. Elle a été contactée mais a décliné l'invitation #AdeleLive2016 pic.twitter.com/7c03cwMCSF — Adele France (@AdeleSourceFR) August 14, 2016
In case you couldn't make that out, Adele told the crowd,
First of all, I'm not doing the Super Bowl... I mean, come on, that show is not about music. And I don't really — I can't dance or anything like that. They were very kind, they did ask me, but I said no.
OH MAN, SICK ADELE BURN! SUCK HER BUTTHOLE, BRUNO MARS AND AEROSMITH, YOU MUSIC-LESS TURDS!!!
RIP, the thought of a heartfelt, emotional Super Bowl where we all cry over nachos and chicken wings at halftime.