To everyone who didn't wish me a happy birthday, I have but one response:
Seriously, I'm outside your apartment right now. How bow dah?
Back in September, 13-year-old Danielle appeared on "Dr. Phil" and not only bragged about stealing cars, but threatened the ENTIRE audience by saying,
That roughly translated into English is "Catch me outside, how about that?"
I know, I know. If you're an audience member, and someone says there's cash outside, it's kind of a letdown when there isn't any actual prize awaiting you.
Well, following some asshole taking her up on this offer and savagely assaulting her (this is not cool at all), the viral phrase-maker Danielle is returning to "Dr. Phil."
That's right. Danielle is returning to the program next week so set your DVRs, and get ready for many more catchphrases and memes to follow.
Even though Danielle allegedly yelled at producers for ruining her life, she's ready to cash herself inside a studio (am I saying this right?) at least one more time.
Maybe Dr. Phil will change her life for the better -- that furry mustache has helped so many lives in the past. But I highly doubt he'll get through to the petulant teenager.
Honestly, the show should have subtitles. I don't want to miss a "flip me now" or a "jail ain't nothin'" while watching.
What new lingo can we expect? I have zero clue, but I'm hoping the Merriam-Webster dictionary is watching so they can officially add those words to our lexicon immediately.
Oh, and Dr. Phil? Can you please have some cash waiting outside for your loyal audience members? Or maybe a car that was stolen by Danielle at some point?
That's not to say I'll be in the audience (I totally will be).