The Golden Age for Jimmy Karz was the '90s.
Back then, a day's work for the child actor consisted of eating a massive chocolate cake to raucous applause as Bruce Bogtrotter in “Matilda” or grabbing Drew Barrymore's butt during a slow dance in “The Wedding Singer.”
Today, on National Chocolate Cake Day, I celebrate Jimmy Karz for his commitment to consuming “the entire confection” back in 1996.
The "sweat and blood" that went into the gigantic dessert in “Matilda” helped turn Karz into a handsome adult.
In his honor, let us all commit fully to chocolate cake on this day.
Let us not be intimidated by the prospects of slammin' 15 pounds of rich, chocolatey heaven straight into our cake holes.
Let us ignore the haters as we power through, bite by bite.
Let us celebrate our victories with those who believed in us all along.
Let us dedicate our sugar hangovers to Jimmy Karz, cake champ of 1996/eternity.
The memory of your dedication remains forever in our hearts and on our hips.