I swear to God, this aspiring dolphin lady better win this season of "The Bachelor."
Let me be very clear, I am terrible at guessing who will win "The Bachelor."
I've been in three pools over the past two-ish years and I have come next to last every time. I do my research. I investigate the underdogs. I analyze whoever that season's "Bachelor" is, and I have been known to cross-reference my data with previous seasons.
I just never pick right. Hard numbers just don't work when it comes to "The Bachelor." It's similar to how mathematicians are never good at football or talking to women.
For Nick Viall's upcoming season, however, I'm doing it differently. This season I'm picking my favorite contestant based purely on how much they love dolphins.
Everyone meet the OFFICIAL Elite Daily choice to win this season of "The Bachelor."
Her name is Alexis and according to her bio, the 23-year-old is an aspiring dolphin trainer.
Literally, say no more. That is all the info we need.
It's not gonna be an easy feat as she will be competing with 29 other contestants all vying for a chance at dat sweet, sweet Nick.
There is always the chance I'm wrong; I get that. We can't all be perfect.
If Alexis doesn't win, my backup pick is Hailey.
Why do I think Hailey will win? Easy. The 23-year-old claims to have a phobia of butterflies and says she wants to have two children because "only children are strange."
Boom. Logic. Quirk. Hailey has it all, but not enough to dethrone Alexis and her season pass to Seaworld.
My third pick is Elizabeth, AKA: "Liz."
She's 29, she lives in Las Vegas and is open about how she picks her nose while driving.
Here is the thing: She is a doula. That's the most disgusting job out there.
Good luck, Nick!