Your Bartender Knows Way More About Your Date Night Than You Think (Video)

Bartenders are essentially just anthropologists who can get you trashed after giving their two cents on the human condition.

If you want to know why your car is making a weird sound, you ask a mechanic. If you want to know how a date is going, you ask a bartender.

This video, which asks bartenders advice on dating, should be mandatory viewing for anyone about to go on a bar date.

You should know when you’ve been the subject of an Irish Exit and how to tell if you should cut your losses and call the night off.

Also, not that we had to tell you this, but you shouldn’t be ordering Long Island Iced Teas anymore. You’re a normal adult, not a cast member from "The Golden Girls."

Don't drink your Long Island Iced Teas in public -- drink them at home, alone, like the rest of us.