Why This Generation Of Women Will Never Be Able To Find Their Noah Calhoun

by Slater Katz

For a decade now, women of all ages have swooned over Noah Calhoun’s sly smirk and raw, sincere ability to appreciate and submit to the concept of love.

Back in our grade school days, Noah’s uninhibited devotion to Allie Hamilton transformed teenage sleepovers with pillow fights and prank calls into an event of sorrowful passion that soaked our popcorn with heartbreaking tears.

After falling asleep during a heart-to-heart with your best friend about how lucky Allie was to find such a gentleman like Noah, your slumber was then crashed by the idea of a Taylor Swift love story between yourself and the boy who gave you a pencil in algebra class the other day.

Love feels alive as you’re whisked away in a heavenly dream inspired by the example of the purity of Noah and Allie’s emotions for each other. For the eight hours you’re unconscious, you’ve found the Noah to your Allie.

The next morning, as you sit in the backseat of your mom’s minivan in last night’s Diet Coke-splashed pajamas, you wonder if last night’s dream will ever become a reality. Will your Noah come strutting into your life even more heavenly than a knight in shining armor?

The answer is no.

Noah is only a figment of Nicholas Sparks’ ploy to make a sustainable income by teasing the impressionable minds of desperate young women. The author -- or master manipulator -- was clever enough to construct the embodiment of a chivalrous man with the luck of Ryan Gosling’s physique to give women what they dream of: the idea of love.

However, living in a world inhabited by an uneven male to female ratio, in which the dominant male counterpart possesses an untouchable ego, women are never going to find a Noah -- ever. His kind no longer exists in 2014.

Here are the reasons why the Noahs of America have become extinct.

The online dating craze

In "The Notebook," Noah wrote thoughtful love letters, not 12 am text messages and crude Tinder pick-up lines. The transformation of dating apps and websites into hook-up platforms has given men the undeserved ability to ask for what they really want and get it instantaneously.

The digital age has plagued our generation with the demand for instant gratification and a sense of selfish entitlement. There is no need to court a woman to get her into bed when there are a plethora of others just a swipe away who can be at your front door in an hour.

These sexually hungry women have shown men that women are merely a number in a very long line of digits. Noah never had access to this string of potential one-night stands, but if he did, would he have taken advantage of it? This guy wasn't a saint; of course he would have.

Sex is just sex

The idea of having sex with a man once he "deserves" it has been beaten by the death of competition, or a transformation to the meaning of competition.

The competition is no longer between which male can convince a woman he is sweet and sensible; it’s between which female can keep a male entertained long enough for him to commit.

Allie and Noah existed in a very prude time where sex still meant something. Now, sex is as nonchalant as a mere peck on the cheek.

Men know women will give them what they want because it’s the norm in today’s society, so they don’t feel the need to respect a woman like Noah respected Allie the first time they made love.

Media-provoked superficiality

From "Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show" goddesses to the Photoshop takeover of women in the print industry, the idea of what the majority of society finds attractive in a woman has been superficially defined by celebrities and mass media.

Noah wasn’t subjected to the Kardashians of the TV screen, so an outstanding girl was deemed as special. A special girl was something men like Noah latched on to because there was no societal preconceived notion of what makes a girl special. There are so many fraud examples of the "perfect woman" portrayed in the media that inhibit the Noah mindset of cherishing individuality.

Allie was Noah’s number one, and today a woman is just a number.

As a disclaimer, this article is inspired by a New York City mindset. Big cities are like a moth to a flame for commitment-phobic polygamists, so do what you will with the application of the stance to the remainder of America.