You will never find your perfect other half. There, I said it. Now, it’s out in the open. Let it sink in for a minute so you can come to terms with such a statement.
As hard as it may be to admit, there is not ONE person out there in this world who is made and designed specifically for you. Imagine if the world had been designed so that each individual person had an equally individual, perfect partner out there, just waiting to be discovered.
It just couldn’t work; Bob would be dating Sally, but Sally’s perfect other half is Arnold, and Arnold is actually in a relationship with Barbara. So on and so forth.
We just can’t go through life believing that a perfect man riding on a stallion is coming our way, or that a goddess of a woman is walking along a beach, just waiting to be found. Yet somehow, this is exactly what our society tells us to expect.
Plenty of articles available online detail the step-by-step processes for finding the perfect man or woman, but realistically, there is no “perfect” man or woman out there; perfection is unattainable! Everyone makes mistakes and nobody can reach perfection; we are only human.
So, stop while you’re ahead and don’t aim for perfection; aim for connection. Learn to love that other person’s imperfections and flaws — don’t just tolerate them.
A list that details every characteristic of your perfect other half can be beneficial for giving you an idea of the type of person you need in your life. However, taking that list to the extreme by detailing hair color or face shape is just asking for disappointment.
By turning away a guy or girl because he or she doesn’t meet all criteria on your “perfection list,” you could actually be missing out on a great person who has qualities that you didn’t even realize you were on your subconscious list.
Don’t get me wrong; this doesn’t mean that every Sam and Sandy walking down the street could be a great match. We don’t have to settle for the first person with whom we have a connection.
It is important to know the general characteristics in a partner that are important for you, as well as the essential deal-breakers. Being of a certain religion, for example, could be an essential criterion for you because it reflects a baseline of values that could impact your life together.
I’m not suggesting we should all draft huge checklists and deal-breaker lists, but that it is important to know which things you aren’t willing to compromise.
You should know which things matter most to you in a potential boyfriend or girlfriend. If you have your list, hold it with an open hand; be ready for unforeseen surprises and exceeded expectations.
Of course, there will always be differences between Bob and Arnold, but Barbara could have a great relationship with either man if both were equally committed to the relationship and both were selfless in their love.
If we continually choose to put another person’s needs above our own, stay accountable for our actions and are willing to compromise on the unimportant things, maybe the specific partner wouldn’t matter.
A healthy relationship, complete with spiritual compatibility, commitment, common goals and values, deep-rooted affection and respect could work between various combinations of people.
Perhaps, if we stopped looking for our perfect other half, who meets every single need on our lists, and started to accept people for who they are -- flaws and all -- we would actually find that special somebody.
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