I have always had a hard time respecting women who try to control their boyfriends.
I want my boyfriend to be my equal, two strong individuals who make one team.
It's easy to become a hypocrite, though, when weekend plans include skydiving, bungee jumping and whitewater rafting.
Although these sound exhilarating and freeing, for a worrywart, it's a personal nightmare.
Should the line between controlling and "for his own good" get blurry when my boyfriend is putting his life at risk?
When one half of your team is looking for a rush and the other cringes at the thought of life waivers, your unity can become strained.
My boyfriend is an adrenaline junkie who gets his high from speeding down hills on a longboard, or taking a nosedive off a bridge.
Recently, I had the misfortune of going on a skydiving trip. Although I did not jump out of the plane myself, it was just as stressful, if not more.
Usually, I try to stray from these events and send him off with a kiss and an “I love you” and start praying, but this time, I needed to see why he loved it so much.
After watching numerous jumps, it was finally his turn. It was as if the skydiving gods were looking down on me and laughing.
His flight up took the longest and wicked-looking clouds crept into his jump zone. Not only did I learn how strong my heart was that day, but also what it takes to be in a partnership.
1. You can't stop someone from doing what he or she loves.
If it were up to me, my boyfriend would live in a bubble and one of his hobbies would be marshmallow club. Unfortunately, that's not what he likes.
When you hold someone down for too long, eventually, he or she will have to break free and you may end up losing your partner.
2. Everything is best in moderation.
Even when you're not totally psyched for something your partner is doing, there is always common ground you can find.
Maybe make a deal that you won't freak out all the time, as long as he or she doesn't jump off a building every day. A healthy amount of compromise is good, and you can't control everything.
3. Would you want someone stopping you?
Think about something you love and the person you love. Now pick one. That's not fair, right?
Everyone wants to be able to do what he or she loves and also have the person he or she loves.
You can't take that away from someone, if you're not willing to give it up yourself.
4. You don't want to make him or her feel like a child.
Sometimes, telling your partner what to do all the time can put you in the Parent Zone.
No one wants to be belittled by his or her partner. Your partner has a mind of his or her own, so you do not have to make all the decisions.
5. It can create a barrier in your relationship.
If it isn't obvious enough, constantly fighting and bickering can get old fast.
Even though you're trying to protect your partner, you may be pushing him or her away.
6. Your partner is not trying to make you upset.
There is a good chance your significant other's passion for living on the edge started before you came along.
Your partner did not develop a love for life-threatening activities just to drive you crazy.
It is part of the package, and you have to love him or her completely for who he or she is.
7. People need to experience different things to grow.
Valuable life experiences for some may be traveling, while others want to experience what it feels like to be in a cloud.
We all crave different aspects of life to feel complete or accomplished.
8. You don't want to create resentment down the road.
The last thing you want is to be with someone for years, only to get down the road and have resentment between the two of you.
When people grow older and reflect on their lives, they are more likely to have regrets.
If those regrets are tied to you because you prevented your partner from doing something, he or she will always harbor blame toward you.
9. You don't always have to agree.
If your significant other enjoys something you don't, that's okay.
You don't always have to agree on everything, but you do have to accept it. If you really can't, agree you can have time apart and that's perfectly healthy, too.
10. In the end, it will be okay.
It may seem like the end of the world at the time, but trust me, it's not.
There are a lot of safety precautions put into place for these adrenaline junkies to keep them safe.
Although your heart will get a serious workout, you'll push through at the end of the day.