Because he hates you! I’m kidding. That’s probably not why.
There are plenty of reasons the guy you’ve been dating for an X amount of months has yet to call you his girlfriend. Most of those reasons have absolutely nothing to do with you.
Well, that’s not true. They technically all have to do with you, but they don’t all have to do with you in the way you think. For the most part, there are plenty of excellent explanations as to why you have yet to hear him call you by the G-word.
In the end, all you really want to know is the answers to two questions, which are “Does he like you?” and “Is he an assh*le?” I hope this post will help you find your answers.
1. He’s just playing you.
Sadly, this is often the case. Not all guys are good guys. I’d say that the majority of them are not. And it’s not that they don’t have the potential to be nice. They could be nice. They simply choose not to be.
Guys like being assh*les. Not just some guys -- all of us. We enjoy it. It feels natural. We like letting our egos out of the cage from time to time.
The level of our assh*lery can vary, though. And we also choose who receives the brunt of it. Some of us reserve our dick qualities for those who especially deserve it. Others have a bit more trouble keeping nice. The worst of us take it out on just about everybody.
And those of us who are the most stupid are assh*les to the people they care about most.
Some men are assh*les and are more than OK with using you. Thankfully, there are always clear signs if this is true. For example: If he treats you poorly, he doesn’t really care about you. It's really that simple.
Does this mean he's probably playing you if he refuses to call you his girlfriend? Yes. However, if he simply hasn’t called you his girlfriend YET, it might be because...
2. He’s confused about what he wants and/or what he’s looking for.
Both men and women aren’t always very good about knowing what it is that they’re looking for in a partner or from a relationship.
It’s not really our fault, to be honest. Whether it’s nature and/or nurture, or simply us not understanding the fact that everything has its limits, we are always looking to upgrade. We're on a never-ending quest for more and better. And when that fails, we look for something -- or someone -- different.
And if you aren’t fighting this losing battle, you’re likely overwhelmed by all the possibilities. There are too many options these days. We have access to anything -- and I mean anything -- at the click of a button or a swipe of the finger.
Can you blame the guy? Maybe. That really depends on you and where you think the relationship is actually going. Maybe he’s a lost cause, or maybe he just needs time.
3. He just isn’t ready yet.
I understand you want to know where things stand right now. I get that. But unless you straight-up ask him why he isn’t calling you his girlfriend (and risk having an incredibly awkward conversation), you may need to simply accept that he needs some more time to feel comfortable with the label.
The real question is whether or not you think he'll ever be comfortable enough. When we're worried about where a relationship is going, it's usually because we know it isn't going anywhere.
Sometimes, of course, we’re just being impatient. Only you know the difference.
If, however, you've been patient, and after six months you don't have a name for your relationship, then it’s probably time to move on. Or just create a purely sexual relationship. That works for some people.
4. He’s afraid that it may ruin what you have.
Sometimes, men are afraid of taking things to the next level because we’re afraid that once we label something, it’ll lose its appeal. I’m sure we’ve all taken things from casual to serious only to realize it was being casual that made the thing so damn fun.
So when we find a girl we really like, we’re afraid that the past is just going to repeat itself. Sure, the only way you will know for sure is if you give it a try. But no one said our fears are always rational. It’s very possible that he wants you two to be exclusive, but he doesn’t want to risk things changing.
5. He’s shy.
It may seem like a lame excuse to you, but it often turns out to be the case -- a lot more often than you’d expect. Some men are good at acting like the tough guy. Others are actual tough guys. Nonetheless, when it comes to love, all men are cowards by instinct. Every single last one of us.
Being tough does not go well with being romantically in love. Love requires a certain gentleness and vulnerability. I know that he may seem like he has a hard shell, but it's possible that you turn his insides into marshmallow.
Which, despite how that sounds, is definitely a good thing.