"He's just thinking with the wrong head. He just wasn't thinking. He's only concerned with f*cking."
We've all heard this strange idea -- that a man has "two heads," one on his shoulders and one protruding from his crotch.
We've been socially conditioned to believe men have some inherent lack of self-control when they're thinking with their "other heads." We're told to believe a man's libido is responsible for his actions, and we shouldn't hold him -- the real, practical, thinking man -- at fault.
Poor men! They are so helpless. They're so utterly powerless to the call of their erections. Right?
"Yes, that makes perfect sense!"... said literally the stupidest people on the planet.
No. Being a guy doesn't excuse you from illogical behavior, so stop playing so f*cking stupid, gentlemen. Just because you’re a man does NOT mean your sex drive is high enough to make the stupid sh*t you do acceptable.
Unfortunately, as Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, tells Elite Daily, “Men have been associated with having a higher sex drive than women and be[ing] entitled to pleasure." Even if that means doing something stupid to get it.
But Dr. Nicole Prause, the principal investigator at the Sexual Psychophysiology and Affective Neuroscience (SPAN) Laboratory and a researcher of human sexuality and sexual health, tells Elite Daily that "there are plenty of high-desire women [and] plenty low-desire men.”
There is no magic formula. Sex drive isn't exclusively gender-based. In fact, both men and women have high sex drives. According to Prause, "your [sex] drive is strong. It can sometimes take over your thoughts."
Sexual fantasies CAN and DO affect all of us, and they cloud EVERYONE'S judgment. Even women.
Yes, women are just as driven by sex as men. Women have two heads, too. And women also think with their sex drives.
One way this happens is through a phenomenon called arousal nonconcordance, which essentially means a woman’s vagina will respond to almost anything that is sexually stimulating -- even if her brain doesn’t necessarily want it in the moment.
In other words, our vaginas -- just like penises -- sometimes have minds of their own.
Levine informs ED that the penis and vagina not only "think" similarly, but are practically the same in a biological sense. She says:
During fetal development, the same tissue differentiates into the glans of the clitoris or the glans of the penis.
And, as a bonus, our lady parts are even more sensitive than the penis.
"In fact," Levine continues, "the clitoris has more nerve endings than the entire penis."
So, before you try to say that only a man's penis dictates his actions, remember that we're all working with essentially the same equipment -- all capable of "thinking on their own."
Come on, ladies. Don't pretend you haven't stood in a crowded bar, listening to some f*ckboy act like a douche-canoe, and realized, against all better judgment, that you want to f*ck him senseless.
We've all been there. Your brain doesn't want him, but your vagina does, and, in that moment, your vagina is more convincing than your brain.
Sexual attraction can happen instantly and often has nothing to do with how compatible that person would be as a romantic partner.
To further illustrate the divide between a woman’s two heads, let’s talk about fantasizing.
Your fantasies, however grotesque or taboo, are completely healthy. Just because you think about cheating, gang bangs, giant dildos, swinging or BDSM, doesn't always mean you're actually going to follow through with any of these things. Sometimes you want to think about something to get the engines going -- just to spice things up.
No matter what your deepest, most convoluted thoughts are, Bradbury reassures us that these fantasies are normal. Exploring these things in our minds can help us fulfill desires we’d never want to explore IRL.
According to Bradbury:
The idea of cheating on your partner might be exciting because it's a break from the routine, exciting, and gives you the thrill of doing something forbidden. But, in real life, the negative experience of hurting your partner and damaging your relationship isn't worth the excitement.
Overall, both men and women experience those feelings of disconnect between their two heads.
So, ladies, f*ck the f*ckboys all you want and live your life. But hopefully, one day, you’ll find someone who satiates your mind and your vagina.