I'm the type of girl who automatically knows if she's interested in a second date or not. My close friend was recently told she should give guys at least five dates before kicking them to the curb. Five?!
I think she wants me to give them a chance to get comfortable with me because she — like many women (including myself) — can be intimidating. She's established in all aspects of her life, and she knows what she wants and doesn't want.
It could take a guy who's romantically interested multiple dates or hang outs before he starts feeling like he can be himself, whereas women have more of a "take me as I am" attitude. All recommendations aside, there are some things that are just f*cking deal breakers.
Sure, we might not be giving men the chances they deserve. But in my opinion, we don't owe them anything. The higher we keep our standards and the more we follow our guts, the better.
I asked women in their 20s to confess their pickiest moments in the first date world. See my favorite "um, no" moments below:
He called me 'darling.' I felt bad because I burst out laughing. Everyone has his or her thing, but you're not my grandpa.
— Haley, 22
We smoked weed in the parking lot before we saw a movie. He couldn't stop laughing at stupid sh*t the entire time. Like, I'm all about lighting up, but have some chill.
— Lexi, 21
One word: Skechers.
— Jenelle, 27
He ordered all the same things I did. Where's the creativity? Can you please be your own person? Thanks.
— Molly, 25
When he laughed, he sounded like he was actually gargling mouthwash. I couldn't handle it.
— Jordan, 26
He ordered a Bud Light at a nice restaurant. Like, really?
— Rachel, 24
It was a blind date. When he went to get my number toward the end, my name was already in his phone. He said we had drunkenly met a couple of years ago, but he wasn't going to tell me. Creepy.
— Lydia, 21
If you look at my track record, most guys I've dated have had big trucks or SUVs. So when he clicked his keys and a Prius beeped, I thought 'Who actually drives one of these?'
— Courtney, 22
I got really drunk at a wine tasting and slept with him. Which is whatever. But his penis was too skinny, like an actual pencil.
— Jessica, 23
He told me he couldn't grow facial hair. I don't think I would've been that into him anyway, but I love my man with some scruff. So that helped me make up my mind.
— Shawna, 24
I don't care if this makes me a bad person. I could never deal with a f*cking lisp like that.
— Vanessa, 22
His wallet had duct tape on it. Not a good look. At least he paid.
— Michaela, 24
After he ordered a water with lemon, everything else he did seemed 10 times more feminine.
— Kerry, 22
He told me about times he'd cheated in college and times he'd shoplifted. I've admittedly done both, but those aren't attractive bragging rights.
— Theresa, 21
His phone background was a porn star in lingerie. I love porn, but at least hide that sh*t on a first date.
— Nicole, 29
At first glance, some of these may seem harsh. But after reading or listening to these women justify their decisions, I've usually laughed and said something like "true" or "I feel you."
Women are notorious for overthinking things. But I think in this case, that's a good thing.
Take the Prius example. That totally could have been his parents' car that he was borrowing because he lives in the city and doesn't have one, or it could be his environmentally and financially cautious car choice of the year.
She may not have wanted to date him because of the Prius, or she could have just wanted make up her mind about him then and there. Dating can be fun as hell, but it's inevitable that there are going to be bad dates. This is especially true in the case of first dates.
I applaud people who can walk away from a first date. They just say "nope" to themselves, and move on with their lives without thinking they should give someone a second chance (even if their reasoning is over something as silly as a Prius).