Relationships

Why Women Always Fall For Men Who Don't Give A F*ck

by Kate Friedman
Stocksy

A delicious piece of Canadian, half-Jewish eye candy once rapped, “I told you from the jump, don’t catch no feelings.”

I’m sorry to break this to you, Drake, but if you told me you were off-relationship-limits, it would only quicken my breathing and get my panties even further in a bunch.

Saying, "Me and you were just friends," would just make me want you more because unattainability makes the chase even more thrilling. Yes, I heard your warning: “I told you, you would get hurt, in the ending.” But, like the fool I am, I wouldn’t listen.

My admittedly pathetic fantasy about Drake breaking my heart is one I likely share with many other women who are drawn to guys with the “bad boy complex.” When a guy tells us not to get attached, it only makes us more invested and eager to land him.

We all, on some level, believe that if given the chance, could successfully change him (whoever that "him" is) into the man we want him to be.

The damsel-in-distress card has been overplayed and exhausted. We've heard the stories of Sleeping Beauty and Rapunzel getting rescued by their flawless Prince Charmings one too many times, and now, we're ready to take charge of our own destinies.

We now feel inspired to rescue the troubled boy who has been anti-relationship for as long as Leonardo DiCaprio. We convince ourselves that if he gets to know us and sees what incredible women we are, we'll succeed in turning him into a loving boyfriend.

This explains why we are never interested in the guys who heavily pursue us. If we know we have them in the bag, there’s no chase, and the chase is half the fun.

Why pick the guy who continuously asks us on dates over the guy who hits us with a 2 am texts and then sends us home before the Starbucks next door has even opened? It’s clear our logic is flawed, but we can’t help it.

We live for the game, but will we ever truly win with this faulty strategy? Probably not.

In reality, we should listen to the messages the bad boy sends us and take it at face value.

If a guy tries to sugarcoat Drake's "catch no feelings" line by saying something like, "If I could be with anyone in the world, it would be you, baby, but I just don't want to date anyone right now," he's more trouble than he's worth.

Call him on his bullsh*t and don't look back because if a man wants to date a woman, he will drop everything and make it happen.

We can't force a guy into this decision, so why are we wasting our time with guys who have the emotional maturity level of 5-year-olds?

My two lengthiest and most successful relationships started off with a feeling of iffy-ness from my end and a chase from theirs.

Alternatively, in my practice of pursuing the bad boy, which I find myself doing far too often, I end up getting hurt before coming close to bagging a relationship.

The bad boys aren't worth the fight, but the ones who make it past your initial skepticism just might be.

I've realized that maybe men aren’t as confusing as we may think. If they tell us they’ll end up hurting us, we should probably believe them.

A boy isn't mature enough to settle down into a relationship, so why should we settle for him? Yes, the chase is fun, but eventually, we'll get tired of playing and realize we should have given into the dates and the roses.