The Difference Between A Woman With No Game And One Who Won't Even Play

by Candice Jalili

In the dating world, there are going to be women who have game and women who don't.

The woman with game knows what to say and when to say it. She knows who she wants, and she goes for him and gets him without fail. Love is a game, and she’s always winning.

Then, there’s the woman who has no game. She also knows what she wants, but her approach is a little bit different -- that is to say, she has no approach at all.

She just goes for it. She doesn’t wait to text back, she doesn’t wait for him to ask her out first, and she’ll say “I love you” whenever she feels like it -- even if the timing isn’t right.

If the woman with game is the winner, the woman with no game is surely the loser.

But then there’s a third type of woman. She is the woman who doesn’t try at all. The woman who has given up on dating. The woman who shuts out every chance of love that comes her way. The woman who has given up on the game completely.

This woman doesn’t hurt or make a fool of herself as often, but she’s nowhere near close to love. And even though the woman who has no game often loses, she doesn’t lose nearly as much as the woman who never tries.

The woman with no game is moving closer toward love; the woman who doesn’t even try is choosing to remain single.

With every failed attempt at love, the woman with no game is getting one step closer to the real deal. She gets closer every time he rejects her invite for drinks, every time she sends yet another text that goes unanswered and every time she drops the L-bomb far too soon.

But the woman who doesn’t even try remains as far from love as she was when she began looking.

With every text she lets go unanswered, every date she turns down, every second she lets go without admitting how she really feels, the woman who doesn’t even try drives herself further and further away from a chance at love.

The woman with no game is acting out of bold fearlessness; the woman who doesn’t even try is acting out of cowardice.

The woman with no game is not afraid to shamelessly put herself out there. She puts herself out there in a big way. She acts on instinct rather than logic. She isn’t afraid of sacrificing some of her dignity if it means possibly winning a shot at love.

The woman who doesn’t even try is so afraid. She’s afraid that he won't respond to her text, that he won't say he feels the same way, that his feelings will fade.

And she allows that fear to take over her every romantic decision.

The woman with no game is fiercely confident; the woman who doesn’t even try is crippled by insecurity.

The woman with no game is sure of herself. She doesn’t worry about what other people will think of her. She isn’t concerned with appearance at all. She is strikingly honest and fiercely bold. She is going to wear her heart on her sleeve, even if that look is out of style.

The woman who doesn’t even try lets the opinions of others cripple her. She won’t show up at his house at 3 am because of what his roommates might think. She won’t tell him how she feels in case he doesn't feel the same way. She won't cry when she sees him with someone else; she's worried he'll think she's crazy.

She lets possible criticisms stand in the way of her pursuit of something fabulous, wonderful and everlasting.

The woman with no game is totally and utterly herself; the woman who doesn’t even try is constantly holding back.

Crazy, weird, impulsive -- the woman with no game can be called a lot of things. But at the end of the day, there is one thing she always remains: herself.

She isn't putting up a front for anyone. She isn’t trying to play her cards right to try to win him over. No, she is just being herself and hoping that’s enough.

On the other hand, the woman who doesn’t even try is terrified of putting her true personality out there. And by refusing to put herself out there, she is never giving anyone the chance to really get to know her -- the real her.

Instead, all they see is the cold, unapproachable wall she puts up.

The woman with no game fights for what she wants; the woman who doesn’t even try lets the perfect love slip right through her fingers.

That’s at the root of all of this, isn’t it? Both women know what they want. But the difference is that one of them is choosing to do whatever it takes to get it, and the other is just not even giving herself a fair shot at ever having it.