We all know the deal of the one-night stand. It's an open and shut book.
But for women just crawling out of sweaty, (questionably) glory-filled beds, it can look a lot different.
Despite your best attempts at walking away victorious, you're inevitably ridden with uncertainty. Did the condom stay on the whole time? Did he spot that weird pimple on your chin this morning? Was it you, or him, who farted? (Shudders)
Sometimes, you're left wondering if he'll find you on Facebook the next day. Other times, you're hoping you gave a fake name.
Your friends act like soccer moms, cheering you on from the sidelines because you scored.
Regardless of whether it's a stride of pride or walk of shame, you can't lose sight of the one-night stand's main objective: getting it in, and then getting the f*ck out. As long as you accomplish those two things, you're pretty much invincible, er, right?
One-night stands are a lot like a bad Tumblr quote: Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
Here are the five stages every woman goes through after a one-night stand.