I prefer to see the best in people, and I try to believe some people are better than they appear to be. I've had a decent number of relationships, and I've never once denied an ex another shot. I believe people are in your life for a reason, and so I've always given my exes a second chance to stay in mine.
Sometimes you don't know when to stay or when to walk away. I've swallowed my pride many times in hopes a person would change, or a situation would improve. Then, I hoped we'd miraculously live happily ever after.
Well, life isn't a fairytale, and my so-called princes have been nothing but knights in shining disappointment. But, I've always believed in a good fight. So, I'll always be willing to give an ex a second chance if it means happiness for us both.
Here are the reasons why:
1. I'll always know I did my part.
All relationships have their problems, and most of them must come to an end. But, I simply do not believe in letting someone go without trying my damn best to make the person stay.
The worst kind of breakup two people can have is when one person stops fighting, or someone doesn't even try. The most painful of endings is when there is no communication, no sliver of hope and just a walk out the door with nothing but a memory of a hurtful goodbye.
Sometimes love is lost, and time is wasted. But, actions speak louder than words.
I may be acting on my emotions, but for me, love has always been stronger than anything else in the world. My heart is bigger than my brain, and when I love someone, I do not for the life of me want to let the person go.
So, my friends go on to tell me I deserve better, and I'll make a complete fool of myself in front of everyone by giving my ex another shot. At least I can say I tried.
2. Sometimes people really do change.
Time is everything, and sometimes, that's just all we really need. There were times for me when it made sense to let go, and to figure out who I was and what I wanted. There were times when it wasn't right with someone, and we came back together later on.
People do grow up. Sometime people change for better, and sometimes they change for worse. Second chances are the only way to find out whether or not it's right for you.
Often, it's not right, and things end the same way they did before. But, knowing for sure now what you didn't before is the best lesson you could ever learn.
3. The practice of forgiveness makes for the strongest of relationships.
We never want to be that girl who always goes back to her ex. We don't want to be the girl who complains about him one day and gushes about him the next. I've been that girl, and I've also been the girl who rolls her eyes at the whole situation.
Love is love. It's hard one day, and it's easy the next. Some people fight and make up, while others don't and break up. In a relationship, I truly believe the act of forgiveness is important in the right circumstances. (For example, no one should ever endure an abusive relationship, and no amount of love should justify that.)
You aren't always able to forget, but you always have the opportunity to forgive. Partners who are able to work through the biggest hurdles often seem to come through the finish line. Despite the bruises and sores, coming back together after a few chapters of figurative hits and misses could make for the strongest of relationships.
The best way to know your partner is through experiencing all the bad. When you're able to conquer the worst, you're able to enjoy the best.
So maybe I live in this fantasy world where people change and forgiveness is key, but I'd rather live in that world than the one with regret. I'd rather live with a heart big enough to love again than one that can't love at all. You can point and laugh at my basket of second chances that are sometimes wasted, but you can be sure they are lessons learned.