Why You Need To Stop Looking For Your Future Husband In Every Guy You Meet

by Lauren Martin

The problem with women today is they are too eager for love. Throughout college, women felt an overwhelming pressure to find that one special guy to settle down with. Many girls wanted to fulfill that cookie-cutter dream of meeting their husband in college and starting a family right after, but after those four years quickly slipped away, they found themselves alone and scrambling.

We find ourselves living with this constant pressure to find a husband before it's too late. It's become so ingrained in our subconscious that within two minutes of meeting a guy, we will start thinking about what he would be like as a husband. It's become an innate natural process. But just because it comes naturally doesn't mean it's right.

We have been conditioned to believe we need to find a husband, but that doesn't mean you need to look at every guy as if he will be the one. This habit will leave you constantly disappointed. Getting let down is something that shouldn't happen on a daily basis. Besides the fact that you are putting impossible pressure on yourself and the men you date, marriage is not something that needs to happen right away. So here's why you need to stop looking for your husband in every guy.

Not Every Man Is Right For You

If you do it right, you should have one husband in your life. That's it. Just one person out of billions. So how can you possibly believe that every guy is going to be a potential candidate? The problem that comes from this is an epidemic of settling. Women will date below themselves so they can feel loved. They will settle for comfortable rather than finding that passionate, heart-stopping romance they know awaits for them.

"Don't date people who are inappropriate for you -- because you can fall in love with anyone." -Heather Dubrow

A woman once told me that I should marry a man who loves me more than I love him. Many girls believe in this piece of advice, adhering to it more often than not. But it's a bad piece of advice and you should never give up on that romantic love.

You Cannot Enjoy That Person For Who They Are

If you are constantly trying to make them your husband, you won't enjoy them for who they are. You will see them as a potential spouse and that's not how you should look at a 20-something boy.

Guys can be great people, but awful husbands. If you are constantly judging them on their potential to lead to marriage, you will never see them for who they really are.

Men Don't Want To Be Your Husband

Guys don't want to be husbands right now. Men and women couldn't be looking for more opposite things at this point in their lives. The hard truth is, men just want to f*ck. That's it.

They want to have casual sex for as long as possible and they are not going to just give that up because you want a hubby. Once you understand that men are only looking for someone to go to bed with, you will begin to better understand how to keep relationships and men.

Expectation Leads To Disappointment

Before you even get a chance to really know the guy you have put an unbelievable amount of pressure on him. He is doomed to fail from the beginning and you will end up disappointed, yet again. You can only have so many failed relationships until you start to realize that maybe the problem is you.

"Expectation is the root of all heartache." -William Shakespeare

You are starting with unbelievably high standards and setting yourself up for failure. Imagine if you didn't start with any expectations? Imagine if you just went into the relationship with no goals, no agenda and simply tried to enjoy the other person and your time together.

You Don't Know What You're Looking For Yet

How can you possibly know what you want in a husband if you don't even know who you are yet. Millennial women are still maturing and saying that you will be the same person in ten years as you are now is just naive.

Saying you want a husband right now is like building the cart before the horse, you're just not ready. You can start thinking about weddings and white picket fences after you're paying for your own health insurance.

Get Too Serious Too Fast

Relationships aren't about the destination, but the journey. If you are constantly thinking about that guy as your husband, you are inevitably going to speed up the relationship. Relationships are to be enjoyed, to be basked in.

They are a beautiful journeys filled with love and excitement, and just thinking about the finish line is dooming it from the start.

Marriages Are Outdated

We live in a culture where more than half of marriages end in divorce. Our generation is seeing more living together and less tying the knot. It's becoming more outdated everyday and fewer couples are choosing to buy into it. We are choosing to just live with our significant others, rather than legally bind ourselves to them.

It's something that has occurred after seeing the disappointing divorce rate of our parents. Revolving your entire life around finding a husband is not only immature, but it's outdated.