Any woman who says she hasn't ever stalked her current boyfriend’s ex or her ex’s new partner on social media is a liar.
The beauty of social platforms is we can access information quickly and delve into someone’s life without any repercussions whatsoever. Unless, of course, you press the "like" button by accident.
Having the opportunity to find out more about your ex and his new girlfriend is an invitation most of us can’t refuse.
According to a study by Western University, 88 percent of 18- to 35-year-olds have stalked their exes' pages, and 80 percent have stalked their exes' new partners. The research also found the more Facebook stalking that occurred, the more distress the stalkers experienced.
Why do we feel the need to know what someone else is up to?
We’ve all been there. You happen to stumble upon (more like search like a detective) your current boyfriend’s ex or maybe your ex’s new girlfriend’s Instagram page. Thankfully, the wonderful victim has kept her profile open, and you find yourself all over her page like you’re rummaging for gold.
You're analyzing every selfie, hashtag and what she had for breakfast eight weeks ago. You start to compare yourself to her: Is her nose bigger than mine? What about her figure? Do I dress better?
Then, your stalking reaches a wider audience. You invite your friends to have a laugh at the poor woman’s expense to make yourself feel a bit better.
Think about it: How many times have you sent a screenshot and laughed at a woman with your friends on Whatsapp? Or sat down together as a group and analyzed someone’s profile?
I bet you all smirked at her unflattering photo and roared with laughter at her ridiculous captions. I’m quite confident to write that I think most women have thoroughly dissected someone over social media like it's an indoor sport.
The irony of social media stalking is you begin to believe you know her. Of course, all you know about her is what she wants you and the world to see. Yet, you instantly hate her because of her social media.
Why do we hate on the (ex or new) girlfriend?
Despite the majority of women being all about "girl power" these days, it seems an exception is made for the woman who is currently touching or has experienced things with your man. The venomous thoughts and the interest you have in the (new or ex) girlfriend is purely a caveman instinct.
Human behavior expert and life coach Patrick Wanis claims that "women are always in competition with their own sex." Women are always checking out other women, and they do it more than men.
This is because the cavewoman’s natural instinct was to breed, look after the babies and daddies and fight anyone who dared to break up their families. And this totally explains why we can turn into the green-eyed monster when we see our exes with someone new.
We all subconsciously think, "That's mine."
Despite a large amount of us stalking, I’m sure there are plenty of women who get on very well with their exes' new partners. However, if you sit in the large percentage of stalkers but would rather not spend your lunch break looking at what she’s done over the weekend, then you’re in for a nice surprise.
Counsellors have discovered that these obsessions finally end once you are completely over your ex. So, enjoy it while her profile isn't private!
The next time you’re having a giggle or experience a wave of jealousy while looking at your ex-boyfriend's new love interest's photos, just remember this woman is probably very similar to you.
That’s right; that "bitch" you can’t help but pick apart is actually a really nice woman.
I only know this because your ex-boyfriend wouldn't be dating her if she wasn't. In fact, you probably have a lot of similarities with her that even your ex shudders about.
So, be kind when you have your next stalk because your thoughts are purely a reflection of yourself.