Whether you're reeling from a breakup or stressing post-hookup, substitute the guy and the scenario is fairly standard. One day passes, and it’s only a matter of time before you hear from him. Three days go by. Eh, he's probably just slammed at work.
Then, it happens. You finally acknowledge, against all of your self-assuring optimism and weeks of agonizing silence, that in reality he isn't too busy. Your Twitter-stalking skills prove he hasn't lost his phone, and the inevitable remains: he's not going to text you.
In a world where empowered chicks continue to redefine the dating scene, why is it that one guy blowing us off can still be a game changer? The reality is that, while a bad bitch mentality is about as necessary for success as a college degree, none of us are above human nature.
Passion is a part of the individual experience, and no amount of drive, independence or reason can mediate the irrationalities of romance. As the old saying goes, "When it hits ya, it hits ya.” But, in truth, the burden of the unrequited text is often a blessing, so buck up and remember:
Your partner does not define who you are
Now is the best time for you to carve out a place in the world as an individual. While a cool person to hang out with could be awesome, you need to define who you are on your own terms. As teen magazine-esque as it may sound, no person is worth defining your happiness for - guy, friend, or otherwise.
Ryan Gosling lookalike or not, today is the youngest you will ever be again, so as much as it may suck, you owe it to yourself to make the best of every day.
The beauty of being an exploring twenty-something is that the possibilities are endless; so embrace experiences for what they are. In the grand scheme of life, being blown off is a minor blurb on a much greater scale of tribulations you will undoubtedly encounter.
Rejection is a part of life
There's really nothing like a bruised ego to throw us into a minor fit of self-doubt. But truthfully, it’s usually these feelings of inadequacy that make our desire for the ones that deny us so appealing.
Are you genuinely upset about the lack of communication with said male, or maybe at least in part, are you simply bummed about the fact that someone is rejecting you? It’s a harsh reality, but it’s a reality, nonetheless. Not everyone is going to like you.
There will always be someone "better" and there will always be more to strive for. This is life. Seeing the bad is essential for recognizing the good, so revel in the crap that is rejection and chalk it up to a humbling experience that will only make you stronger in the end.
The universe has a greater plan, even when we can't see it
Hippy dippy philosophy or not, there is something to be said for letting the chips fall where they may. Being a hands-on actor in the happenings of your life may be essential, but harping on things that aren’t going your way will not bring them to fruition any faster. Focus on you and your plan. The people who are meant to be by your side will find a way to make it there, period.
Settling is never something you should feel comfortable with
At the end of the day you are the only one who knows what’s best for you. However, - and this is a big however - that doesn't mean you should be compromising your desires entirely.
Everyone is different, and we all have varying expectations when it comes to the things we need and want in a potential partner. If a guy isn’t calling, texting, sending a damn carrier pigeon or doing whatever it is that works for you, then that’s something worth considering. Compromise is essential, but only to a reasonable extent.
As silly as it sounds, love is meant to inspire and awaken parts of us we didn’t know existed, and the truth is, you have an entire relationship once the honeymoon phase is over to work through the inevitable bumps in the road. So, today, don't accept anything less than what makes you ecstatic.
Your twenties are for you
This last one’s really pretty simple. Work hard, live your life and do your thing. There will be plenty of time to cater to the needs of others, so we may as well enjoy being selfish while we still can. When love makes its way to you, and it will, you’ll be thankful to the losers who weeded themselves out.
